ph33r

I did not realize that I had not blogged since Wednesday. Lately, there's been plenty on my mind but very little inclination to actually talk about it. Today though, I had to work relatively later than usual, and have very little time for anything other than sitting on my computer and chatting it up, so I see no reason why I cannot at least attain 'minor ventage' with Donblog.

I miss Corinne. Particularly now. For those unknowing, Corinne's my lovely lovely friend that I met online who lived in California. We shared some expensive phone calls and lots of IM chatting and such, and became close friends. Then she went away to do some Basic Training style stuff, and it became snail mail for awhile. She then returned home for a few weeks before being assigned somewhere to go for what seems to be an undisclosed amount of time.

In Italy.

And of course, since the New York thing took place, she's been very busy with military stuff. And being in Italy...when the call for war went out, it would be logical that she would be moved there fairly early, since Italy is far closer to the Middle East than the United States is.

It's really amazing. I was ready for war; I was ready to get the call if they started the draft thing up. I was ready to seek the 'justice' the government keeps speaking about. But the second I realized that Corinne was going to be there...along with other friends of mine, that desire stopped.

She doesn't need me to protect her, but I want to. That's sort of the way I am; if I don't have someone to give advice to or someone to protect, I feel like everything is a waste of time. Nothing makes me as angry as the thought of a friend being in danger, and me being unable to do anything about it.

To add to it all, I'm not really sure how I feel about her besides the friend thing. I know I trust her, and care about her a great deal. When her plane laid over at BWI, I went down and basically spent a few hours with her and really enjoyed it. It's hard to explain really, but even though I was nervous being with someone whom I knew...but never really 'met'...something about the whole thing felt right. Just right. The reflections of the two of us walking together are still etched in my mind, and I'm unable to shake it. There were things I wish I could have redone, or done better, but all in all I want those moments back.

And now, she's gone. And busy enough that contacting me would probably prove difficult, and I'm sorry, but I'm worried. I don't want to lose her to a war. I don't know that war is worth it anymore. I know people probably would like to smack me upon reading that, but I can understand now what pacifists are thinking--it's easy to signal the call to arms if it's just you...or if no one you know is involved.

But now I'm not so sure what I want. What if something happens to her...or any of the other people that are being shipped out that I know? In those terms, I don't know if this is something I fully support anymore. Once again, I falter. I know we have to do something to prevent these sorts of attacks from happening again; it's something I know all to well. However, when I think of how many people are in the same situation as me both here, and across the world, I can't help but wonder.

I can't help but wonder if there isn't another way anymore.

Althena help me if something happens to Corinne. I don't know if I could take losing someone I've grown so...'attached' to. There aren't many people in this world that I trust so implicitly.

I guess things aren't going to get any easier, either. Ah well. I'm used to being tormented, so all I can do is keep standing, and keep doing what I can do, right? There's no room in this world for a swordsman, anyway.

~Don

Donblog Not Working?

Yes, because I updated last night, and it never appeared. In any case, go to bed. Because that's what I'm doing. Nothing really to talk about again. Sorry, I know you expect more from someone with such an exciting life!

....screw you guys.

Night, kids.
~Don

Morning Makes Me Angry

That's pretty self-explanatory. Unlike recent entries, where I've practically been quoted as saying "I'm not going to write much" and then writing entries longer than average; this one is going to be short. And I mean that. Because I'm tired, and because I'm going to bed soon.

In fact, within the hour. I have to get up fairly early to get out of the house so people can look at it, which annoys me greatly, seeing as tomorrow is my day off. I think I'm going to go and hang out with Vince in the arcade after I get up. I really don't want to go to the mall, believe me. But at least I can play a few free games and talk to Vince. At least, I think that's what I'm going to be doing.

Before I go, I have to admit a bit of worry and certainly sadness in hearing of the tornado in College Park. Quite unusually, Chucko is not online tonight. I imagine that is due to a lack of electricity at College Park. Hope you're alright, man.

~Don

Land of Confusion

Typically, a headline or title will exist to tie in to a particular subject matter of the piece following it. In this case, the only way the title really ties into Donblog today is that it's the name of the Genesis song I was listening to at the time I began typing. In fact, I'm listening to the Genesis album Invisible Touch, which is some quality Genesis work.

Of course, almost every Genesis work is quality Genesis work. I'm off topic. Or rather, I am still on the topic suggested by the title, but I'm off the intended topic.

Today started off rather poorly. The twelve hour shift began with me in a very foul mood for no particular reason except being at work. The expectations of another long and horrible Saturday, coupled with the two back-to-back birthday parties were not something I looked forward to, and I had a very hard time showing anything other than almost complete disgust for my particular place of work at that particular time.

But as always, Kev-$ helped the day. Kevin came in at roughly one -- and from then on, it was a bit easier to bear. In fact, the arcade is almost always easier to bear when you're working with someone. At least then you're not the only one stuck taking all the abuse and doing all the work, and it gives you someone to talk to, which in turn helps cut out some of the pain of hearing the same loud crappy video games blaring in your ears all day long and the kids screaming and crying about their lack of quarters.

Really, I hate working in an arcade. I highly suggest that you avoid such employment unless you have ungodly amounts of patience. I never expected to have such an emotionally taxing job. I suppose the general look and feel of an arcade leads you to believe that it is a place of relaxation and complacency, and as such, the job of running one would be relaxing on at least some level.

Completely the opposite. Granted, there is not that much to do other than clean and help customers...but that help customers part can be the most awful experience one can ever have. It's not easy sitting there by yourself all day long and listening to people gripe about losing a quarter - a mere quarter - or claim that you're ripping them off by rigging games or something. Or cursing you out because they have nothing better to do, and then wondering why you can't give them smiles and giggles when they come up to get more quarters, which will only end up leading to more complaining from them.

It all seems quite futile, really. I feel bad training John, knowing what I'm going to leave him with in that arcade. It's the sort of thing I really wouldn't wish upon anyone. I'm actually surprised, perhaps even proud that I'm still standing after over a year of working in that place. Now, however, it's definetly time to move onward and try to find a job that doesn't require so much...patience, maybe.

That's just the way it goes though. I'm a fool if I believe that changing jobs will make everything in my life better, but I know it's a step in the right direction, at the very least.

Now, back to my Genesis and my Phil Collins CDs before bed.

~Don
"Hey, crack open a window will ya? Ha HA!"

Promise Left Unkept

Yes, I am an incredible slacker. And I'm sure people were looking forward to a long Donblog today, but...you're not going to get it.

I could sit here and tell you how much fun I had playing roughly seven hours of Tales of Destiny II or how irritated I am at having to pack up and leave the house so people can come look at it and why it's making me angry at my father for his unwillingness to pick a day when it disrupts his life and not mine, but...that's simply the way it goes. Though I am upset by it, it's over. And fortunately the next house visit scheduled is on Saturday...when I'll be at work.

For twelve hours.

With two birthday parties.

Back to back.

So....I suppose I'd rather have the visit then the twelve hours of work. But there is some solace in knowing that I should be off on Sunday, so I suppose it's not a huge deal. Means I can play some football with Roger and the gang if they're playing this week.

I know, I promised more on the Expansion post, but now I'm wondering if I'm going to continue that or not. Perhaps best to save thoughts of change for a more reflective time; meanwhile, I'll just continue writing whatever comes to my head.

Whatever. Rock on.

~Don

Expansion

The whole theme of Donblog yesterday was more or less me taking a look at how I've grown over the years. And while I feel the need to add to it (for then...and now, I still feel as if there are plenty of changes and things that I could write about), I do not feel compelled to add to it just now. So I hope that you'll bear with me.

I'm pretty tired, and having trouble composing even the simplest of sentences. So to expand on yesterday would only hurt something that required a bit of effort, and I see no point in making everything seem worse by trying to come up with something to write about merely to make it longer. No, as I'm sure anyone can tell, I'm far from 'peak' writing condition this day, and so henceforth I shall give up the idea completely for a better time.

~Don

Show Me Your Best and Tales of Destiny II

I have come to a point with my little online corner called "Blog" where I feel like it's quite possibly time to get a bit more in depth in matters. Sure, I could keep chatting it up about trivial things like anime and video games, but then I leave it to those of you who actually read this to believe those are the only things that define my life. For lack of a better quote, it simply is not that simple.

One thing I seem to pass over quite often is how I feel about things, and it seems to me in retrospect that the entire purpose of blogging to begin with isn't so much to be entertaining as it is to be a place for me to sort of 'vent' the things that I rarely say. I suppose, in all honesty, that there are so few people in this world that I both trust and respect enough to actually speak personally about the things I feel that I've come to acquire that as a sort of handicap. I'm the kind of guy who will look visibly upset, but will rarely explain why I really feel the way I do. I'll touch upon the things with a fingertip, loosely, just to convey a point, but never really get to the true facts: why I'm upset, and what I intend to do about it.

I'm happy however, to look back over the past few years and see a certain chain of growth. Sure, I have problems, but I find that I no longer stress myself out so much over them. The fact of the matter is that you, and only you, control your own destiny. Blaming others or looking in the mirror and despising what you see...those things are only defense mechanisms people use when they're afraid to admit to themselves that either they have a problem, or are afraid to do something about it.

Take, for example, me learning how to drive. In Maryland, the legal driving age at the time was sixteen. I did not get my license until well after I turned nineteen however, and obviously being without it made my life difficult. I had to suck up to people to get rides anywhere I wanted to go. I often had to basically submit to everything my father said in an argument, because if I tried to speak my mind, he would refuse to take me to work the next morning. I was using friends, though I convinced myself that through hanging out with them or buying them dinner or by giving them some gas money that I was not. And I accepted having to walk four miles home from work despite the weather and other factors each time that I had to do it (roughly once a week, on average) because I could not get a license, because no one would teach me how to drive.

It took a letter placed in my work locker to sort of wake me up. I was angry at the letter at first, but now am glad I did it. It was a note that basically said "As of such and such date, we will stop giving you rides. We want you to get your license." Unbeknownst to them, I had already set a date to get it by...but probably would have missed said deadline without that motivation.

I wasted a lot of time convincing myself that there were so many reasons that I could not get my license...and the reality of the matter was...I never asked. I suppose the point is this: me not having my license until nineteen was completely and utterly my fault, and no one else's. Yes, there were other factors involved, but when it came down to it...when I had my back against the proverbial wall...I started asking people to teach me to drive, to schedule a time they could take me to get it...to help me buy a car.

It took roughly three weeks. The first week, I bought a car. The second week, I spent setting up insurance and such...and a few days later, after driving my car with various people, I was ready to go. In fact, I beat the crap out of the driver's test. It was nothing. And I was left thinking "Why the hell didn't I do this earlier?"

Blaming circumstance or other people for your shortcomings...and then depending on them to make up for them, is possibly the worst thing you can do to your friends and family. It wasn't until people started doing it to me that I realized what I must have put them through years ago. Nowadays, I'm still slow to make changes in my life, but I'm not afraid to make them. I got sick of my first job, so I went out and got a new one. I can do that again. I can do that however many times it takes until I'm satisfied with my work. I can pay my own bills, and I can buy my own things.

Money cannot buy a girlfriend, but you can't really go see the girlfriend without it.

I complain alot, but I like to complain. The truth is, I'm not satisfied with where I am, but I at least know that it is within my grasp to change it. I started looking for new jobs today, only passively looking for signs as I drove to my mother's house and to the mall. I know they're out there.

Sometimes I think people sense that I'm doing pretty well, and they try to bring me down. Almost as if they're so full of hatred for themselves, or for life, or for other people that maybe they just want me to share in their misery. Sure, I'm a single guy, and I've never really had the sorts of mature experiences most men my age have had. In contrast however, I've had the pleasure of getting to know many of the women in my life intimately. I do not mean intimately in a sexual sense at all; rather, I've come to know how they think, what makes them happy and sad, what they dream about, what they want. I've come to learn how making them smile makes me smile, and how it feels to be their crying shoulder, etc. And I know that someday I'm going to be settled with someone who finds things within me that make her happy. There is far more satisfaction, at least for me, in the smiles of those I care about then could ever be achieved through any sexual act.

I, of course, desire sexual activity just like any other person, but the desire does not rule my life.

And that was much rantage. There are bad days, and good days. You take them as they come, because that's all you can do. We hold the keys to free ourselves from our own unhappiness; you just need the courage to pull the door open once it's unlocked. The world keeps coming at me, and I'm still here to tell the tale. That says something.

Oh, and I got Tales of Destiny II. And thus far, I enjoy everything about it...save possibly the fact that they opted for english dubbed voices for the battle scenes. But seeing as they used english voices for various parts of the storyline, I suppose I can understand the decision.

The characters speak to each other in English...but in battle it's all in Japanese. Sure. That makes sense. I'll take it the way it is.

~Don

No headline today.

Why? Because there's really very little to talk about. I had to work today (by myself in the arcade on a busy Sunday again, I might add) but I managed to stay fairly sane. There was this one person who was quite rude and quite motarded who was giving me all sorts of crap about his particular coin mechanism on Cruisin' World, basically whistling for me as if I were some sort of puppy, and then yelling "Someone better get over here now, I'm sick of this!" while I was busy with other customers. The funny part about the entire situation was that all he needed to do was jiggle the coin return and the quarters would have come right back out. That, and...well, he was in a business suit and looked to be in his late twenties.

What a loser. I paid him back in full Don regalia by being completely and utterly rude to just him, and made it my point to be glaringly nice to everyone else. Really. And he didn't seem to get that if he wanted me to fix the machine that he would need to move his fat ass out of the way for about five or ten minutes for me to work on it, so if he wanted to not have to "jiggle the coin slot" ( I promise there's absolutely no sexual innuendo with that phrase, despite what seems to be the contrary) he would end up losing his highly important "World Tour" anyway. Meanwhile, he made himself look like a buffoon in front of children.

For the love of crominy, don't act like a motard in front of children.

I'm thinking of pushing through Final Fantasy VIII tomorrow if I get a chance. Work at 6...dentist at 2:30...other stuff to do in between. Seriously, if anyone thinks life gets easier after high school, or even more fun...boy, how the reality train is going to plow through you. It's not horrible, but it's not very exciting either. In any case, that's enough for me. I don't really have much else to say tonight. oyasuminasai.

~Don

In the Darkest Hour

Hope Springs Eternal

There's striking similarity between the feelings I felt today, and the feelings that the Lunar series often inspired. (Warning: RPG Diatribe leading to modern day comparison straight ahead. Take Detour, or expect delays.)

Lunar: The Silver Star appeared a long time ago (like...the nineties. Scary to say a long time ago, no?) for what basically is best described as a hardware flop, Sega CD. Of course, like many flops, there were several quality titles that never really got a chance to shine on the system. Lunar was one of them. One of the first RPGs for the Sega CD in fact, and probably the best one the system had to offer (against perhaps...Lunar II, and various other games I never played that were never released in America...uh...I'm getting off topic again.) The story of a young boy named Alex and a young girl named Luna, set on a magical planet far away...a planet so magical that life had beautiful orchestral music in the background, and important events in one's lifetime were often conveyed through the use of long-loading anime style cutscenes. In this story is the heroic rise of Alex to achieve his dream and help those he loves, no matter what it took. Alex and company persevere to protect the land of Lunar from an unnamed threat (so aptly titled in the event that you've not played the 'remake' of this story on Playstation. I'm trying my best to not spoil it.)

Lunar: Eternal Blue was the sequel, released for the same system a few years later, and this time around we are told the story of the mother planet's destruction, and are visited by a girl from that sleeping giant in the sky who's had visions that the world of Lunar is in grave danger. "Assisted" in her task to warn the Goddess Althena, our heroine Lucia, who is quite confused and puzzled by the inhabitants of the planet (namely humans) is a young boy who climbed a great tower to investigate the source of a mysterious light. The two soon find there is more to the dreams and the world of Lunar than either of them expected, as Lunar is thrust into danger again to battle a seemingly insurmountable foe.

There are two primary themes I took from both of these games. Lunar is a fictional testament to both the power of humanity, and the strength and beauty of true love. And both of those themes are being demonstrated by people around the world today, particularly in New York and Washington, D.C.

In times of great crisis, human beings can cast aside their differences to achieve common goals. Such is the case with the Lunar series, and so now is the case with the world. Seeing on television the various ceremonies in different European countries was, if anything, a way to prove that in this time of crisis, there are people from all corners who keep America in their thoughts. There are people in the rubble on our ground right now, all of which are from different races...or different places...or different upbringings...people who might not normally get along. But do you see them on TV forming human chains to move rubble, or survivors? In the face of death, they're still pushing on.

I felt the strength of love today too. Not quite the sort of love brought to us in both Lunar games; rather, the love of people for their home. The flags are everywhere. Candlelight vigils, donations from major companies, blood drives...it's all happening.

When I was told to shut down the games in the arcade at twelve'o'clock, I had no problem with it. My customers, who normally react to losing the slightest thing, like a quarter, all nodded understandingly and accepted the news that their games would be temporarily disrupted with smiles. These same people, despite my inability to smile and serve them happily the past few days, are still smiling. They're not yelling about quarters or tickets or calling us names.

There was a span of five minutes where the Town Mall of Westminster was completely silent. And I don't recall a time I felt so close to America, so proud to be born here (even if we get bad dubs in our anime and poor translations of RPGs...I told you, I was trying to get back to normal, so I apologize if my weak attempts at humor seem offensive to you. It's just how I deal.). The feeling was almost overwhelming. Unfortunately, it was underscored with having to go back to work shortly after the silence ended.

While the feelings were something completely new for me outside my house, they were feelings I was familiar with in some strange sense. That's the way I felt when playing the various Lunar games and seeing how both important and "non"-important characters deal with the disasters of these games, and how good it feels to fight on their behalf.

In any case, a solid show of...solidarity, I suppose. And I think I've gone on enough. Lunar: Eternal Blue's old advertisement says enough:

"In the Darkest Hour, Hope Springs Eternal."

~Don

A Day Off; Smackdown

There was plenty of time for everything today, but as you can all probably imagine, things just didn't seem to be as fun as usual. The news is still covered with talk of terrorism and death, of heartbreak and tragedy, of tears and fears. But as I keep saying, it's time for to start getting back into routine, and that's exactly what I did today.

I crawled out of bed for the first time in a week and half at a time later than eight'o'clock (actually, it was more along the lines of...let's say....eleven thirty) and basically just went straight to the news for the latest updates while munching on a hearty bowl of unhealthy Lucky Charms. There was some new information that I'm sure you all know about already, and I'll not bother to explain them since I can assume most people are paying attention to it as well.

The day continued along under a normal pace...bringing me to something I've been meaing to do for the past week or so. It was clamoring my way to the bottom of the Deep Sea Research Center in Final Fantasy VIII to battle Ultima Weapon and finally obtain the last of the Guardian Forces. Whether or not Eden was worth it remains to be seen, as I didn't use it much after that. Actually, I spent the more time trying to learn tons of abilities on Cactaur Island, and then hunted for items to make the final weapons.

I'm never going to find a Blue Dragon, I bet. Besides that, I need Energy Crystals, which from past gameage I know I can get them with a bit of help from Lv Up and Lv Down in Lunatic Pandora.

From there? Smackdown. I must admit, I wasn't particularly surprised that Vince McMahon chose to put Smackdown on. Let me say that considering what the WWF is 'famous' for, I thought this was a tastefully done show. It was basically the same formula used in the episode they aired after the death of Owen Hart, but touching nonetheless. The frank commentary given by the various wrestlers and personalities between matches was a good luck at how some of the professionals feel about things, and overall...it definetly did feel like there was a certain amount of defiance against our terrorists. Not bad.

In any case, I then spent time viewing the various cutscenes in both of the Playstation Lunar games, and sat down to blog while watching the Cartoon Network's version of Cowboy Bebop. Not a perfect version, but close enough that I think people could definetly enjoy it.

I know it all seems minor in comparison to Tuesday's events, but...I guess that's how I deal.

"I don't know and I have no opinion." - Jet Black
~Don

Wasted Thought: Terrorism

Having plenty of time to think and reflect on everything that has occured in the past two days, I now feel like I'm comfortable enough to maybe start writing a bit more than just strong words to boost the morale of myself and those who may read this.

I am sure I'm not the only one who felt complete shock for the first time. I wasn't shocked in the sense that I could not believe such a thing could happen in this country, because I've always known that this country is just as susceptible as any other. I was shocked at the extremity of it all. The massiveness of what occured. It's incomprehensible to me how many people's lives ended suddenly yesterday. It was something I wasn't prepared for.

I've been thinking what it must have been like to have been in the city while the buildings collapsed. To have opened my eyes and been caught inside thick smoke and covered in dust and white ash, the eerie silence that must have blown through while people were slowly getting to their feet and wondering what in the hell was going on. Or to have been inside the World Trade Center and hearing the floors above me give way, seeing windows fall and then desperate people pass by the window.

To be on the plane knowing that I was going to die, and in my death would come the deaths of thousands more.

Incomprehensible. Unbelievable. I just can't fathom what that must feel like, but at any time, any one of us could be in the same situation. What would I do? How would I react? What is it like staring death in the face and then having no choice but to embrace it?

Ok. So I was wrong. Maybe I'm not ready to talk about it. I started, and then hit a block.

Unreal.

But as I tried to do yesterday with my post, I try again today...to not so much move on, but to try to return to normal business. This is not to imply that I am not sympathetic, or that I am not still glued to the television, or that I no longer care. I do. How could you not?

That's enough for today. I finally have a day off tomorrow, so I can get some rest and...take some time to reflect, I suppose. Comments/emails welcome...so long as they're in good taste.

Stand tall, America. I love you.

~Don

Tragedy

I refuse to be afraid.

You must be strong, and you must not let the tragedy consume you. Mourn those lost, pray for everyone involved, and most of all, pray for peace.

Not as Americans, but as people, we are innately strong enough to overcome this. And so we must stand together, not as a country, or an ethnicity, but as people. Do not let the actions of people dictate how you feel; don't waste your time hating those involved. They have done a horrible thing, that is true, but in their minds, they are doing what they perceive to be right.

I am not condoning their actions whatsoever, or supporting them in any way. Not in the least. Heaven help me if I ever get a chance to go one-on-one with the person responsible for this. But...for now, I will stand, and I will move forward and prepare for whatever it is to come.

It's not over yet. Stand strong, and do not be afraid. Despite what some people think, I believe this country is in capable hands, and right now there are people giving everything they have to restore order and protect, at the least, peace.

You are not immune to terrorism simply because you live in the United States of America. But you are able to stand tall, and shake the heavens, and that's what we must do.

We must fight on.

And pardon the Xenogears "plug" just up there.

~Don

kawaite hitomi de dareka naite kure

Yes, today everyone gets "Someone, cry for me with parched eyes" as the title of the blog. To those unfamiliar with "The Real Folk Blues", I highly suggest viewing the series known as Cowboy Bebop. I was fortunate enough to become acquainted with it roughly a year ago before it made it's way to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, and I really enjoy it. Before moving on, you get the chorus:

"The Real Folk Blues...hontou no
kanashimi ga shiritai dake
doro no kawa ni tsukatta
jinsei mo waruku wa nai
ichido kiri de
owaru nara..."
(The Real Folk Blues...I only want to know true sadness. A life drenched in a river of mud isn't so bad, as long as it ends after the first time)

Or something to that effect.

Today, I garnered a great deal of sunburn from watching the Ravens play at PSI Net Stadium. I had fun, but the weather was definetly taxing. The sunburn looks a bit serious, at least on my knees, but it's nothing that won't heal itself in a few days. That's just the way it goes, I guess. It didn't occur to me to bring lotion until well after I was into the game and realized that my skin was indeed burning.

As a side note, if you've never been there, PSI Net is a fantastic football stadium, no matter where you sit. This time, I was fortunate enough to attend Opening Day on the club level, which is the ritzy, rich sort of section where everything is much cleaner and the employees seem to be paid much more. On several occasions in fact, they were posted at various doors and were seemingly standing there with the sole purpose of holding it open so that I could pass through. Flip-fantastic.

Unfortunately, the fun ends here, as I have to go to work tomorrow. And Tuesday, and Wednesday. Fortunately, two of those days are a little shorter than what one would consider a 'normal' workday, and the other is only three hours long! And all three are in the morning, which is good...maybe I'll be able to get myself into some sort of sleep pattern so that I won't be so tired all the time.

Wishful thinking, I know. But some nights, I'm going to bed at midnight...some, three AM. Others...you don't want to know. I think maybe I'm more tired than usual because of the trip to the hospital last week, and I haven't really had a day to sleep in since then.

Besides today, except I had to be up at my normal work time to get ready for the game. Yes, it can take that long to get there. Beyond that, I was up pretty late waiting for Vince to let me know if he was either coming over or if he was in fact, still going, but he was at some party.

Which is really of no consequence, as I would have been up that late playing games one way or the other anyway, I'm certain. Plus, it took forever for me to drift off to sleep anyway, so I guess I should be happy sleep came at all.

In any case, that's enough for today. Feel free to visit some of my friend's blogs and read about their personal lives...or visit any of the other links. I'm sure they'd appreciate the "traffic," and I get some sort of strange pleasure out of plugging them all the time.

I'm a motard.

...........

Screw you guys.

~Don

No remorse.

That's the best way to go. I'd blog more, but I have to go to bed in an hour or two...and I must play Final Fantasy. Will blog more. Just...not now. Click the links and enjoy other blogs or the Sense of Sanity, or something.

~Don

Hospital Bad
So I'm relaxing around one am or so, basically just sitting online like I always do. And I hear this sort of...almost ruckus upstairs, followed by this coughing, and then footsteps. I'm figuring the big guy father-ish dude is just going to the bathroom.

Then he came down here.

And said I needed to drive him to the hospital.

So I did, and ended up there until five in the morning. And then I came home. And I went to bed. And then got back up soon after and sat around the house doing nothing because I was so tired the concept of being outside my house frightened me.

But at least the Father guy is fine now. More than less, anyway. Now we only wait to see if he ends up needing to go or something again tonight, or if I'm getting to sleep and then going to work tomorrow.

I don't really win in either scenario.

~Don

Recca no Honoo

Catchy little title, no? And a good way to begin a blog that has the potential to turn into something longwinded, but is starting out just a short few sentences about Flame of Recca. I'm giving my props out here, because as I've told several of my friends, I think FoR is going to be a big hit. If/When it receives a good release on American shores besides the fansubbed editions Vince was getting.

Recca has it all. There's romance, there's adventure, there's action....plot twists and such. It follows what one could call a typical 'anime' formula, I suppose. And that's just the beginning few episodes. Most series tend to get better as they go on, so I can only imagine what sort of stuff is going to happen in later episodes.

This, of course, means I must steal it from Vince. ph33r!

In any case, if you're keeping up to date, I still have a job. I actually have a tendency to endure jobs I hate for much longer periods of time than actually necessary; thus, I still work in the arcade. It's something I hope to change very soon by going job hunting again. I haven't really been paying the attention I should have been, I guess, though the mother-unit has suggested a few semi-retail jobs that pay much better than the one I have now. That's sad. I'm a manager, for heck's sake, and I can still start at several other places for more than I make now.

Complicating matters are things like moving and going back to school. And the fact that I'm still quite single, but...I'm not going to let that bring me down anymore. I think I've spent far too much time searching...or trying, to make myself better and to bear the burden of my friend's problems. And while there's a certain amount of satisfaction in helping people, the real problem is that I often absorb myself into those sorts of things so much that I tend to disregard the real fixer-upper, and that's me.

It's one of those "revelations," I guess. Things that cross my mind, that I'm probably not going to act upon, but they're there for later thought. Might as well, since I often have plenty of free time to waste, and frankly...Thinking...is a Waste of Time!

Cheap product plug. Faaaannnntaasstic.

~Don

Heh. And I finally got around to putting my little counter thing on. Which means everyone will stop reading. But that's ok, you know? It's there.

~Don

You Get to Burning

That's the problem with listening to anime music and actually liking it; you start injecting it's influences everywhere you go. At one point on Sunday, I began dancing the "You Get to Burning" dance in one of my infamous work-deliriums. I'm certain you know the ones I'm talking about; the point where you've basically taken so much that you basically shut down and becoming completely and utterly motarded with the hopes of making some salvage out of the work day?

Yeah, you've been there.

..........

Screw you guys.

For the unfamiliar, "You Get to Burning" is the theme song from Martian Successor Nadesico, which I actually just finished watching this afternoon. Got a holiday off, and I spent the beginning of it watching anime. Some people have cookouts and stuff, I watch animation from another country.

It seems like sort of a wasted hobby sometimes, anime. I watch and watch and what do I really get out of it other than killing several hours and/or wasting money to buy it? Logic says that I actually lose more than I'm gaining. After all, anime itself is pretty expensive even on just VHS, and I like to get DVDs...plus you can end up falling in love with the scores and buying soundtracks, and wallscrolls, and shirts, and toys...and onward. It's a lot of money, and a lot of time.

But of course, otaku...don't really need logic. Just anime.

And if you haven't given yourself to anime ever before, then I don't know that you could understand what it really is. I hear all the time that I'm twenty-one and I lie around the house watching 'cartoons,' but that's really the problem with the common man's perception of anime. It's too easy for people to associate anime with the sort of cartoons that air on normal American TV. This is a country that really grew up with things like The Flintstones and The Jetsons and the whole Hanna Barbera/Disney regime, and because of that, that's what most people see in japanese animation without actually watching enough of it: just flashy cartoons for kids.

But really. Look at some anime series, and the music scores for them, and the depth of the storylines and characters, and find me examples anywhere near as intelligent or entertaining in regular American entertainment alone, let alone American animation. There are very few shows/movies in this country that entertain me, or stimulate me intellectually as much as anime, or even anime RPGs. For me, that's the truth. Anime makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes me sing...makes me feel anger, sometimes even hatred towards certain characters and then feel protective of others. Some characters are a testament to the kind of person I would like to be, some are perfect examples of pieces and parts of me that I don't like to show (Still working on the list of ways Shinji Ikari and I could be related.)

Yeah. So anyway, I guess that's really all I feel like saying about that. Back to my day of...well, nothing.

~Don

Right. So I have very little to say today, except that I'm tired...and that it was fun having "Night of Dreamcast" with Vince and Kev-$...and that now I'm going to watch more Nadesico before bed while eating some of these Cookie and Cream Hershey thingies that are going to make me feel ever-so-sick tomorrow morning.

But that's ok. Being sick makes me feel alive.

~Don