It might be time to tell myself I have a serious problem. Actually though, in retrospect, I've been aware of it for a long time but it doesn't seem to be something I'm all that keen on fixing.

I think I'm one of those recluse people that just gave up on life somewhere.

Not really sure why that is. Not really sure how I'm supposed to motivate myself to fix it; I'm afraid of change and just afraid of everything in general. I don't really even know what I want so much as I know I want to be happy doing it, but it doesn't ever seem like I'm going to be overwhelmingly happy with anything.

Maybe there's just too much time on my hands to think about it. I have a lot of great friends but no one whose "special place" I get to touch on a regular basis, let alone do other things with. (In all seriousness, just a bid to use "special place" there; thanks for sticking along with it). And that job is awful. If I could just replace that.

Then again, its always if, if, if with me.

Random whining over.