NyQuil Will Help You Get Your Z's

I've been following through on tonight's plan: Get ramped up on caffeine, and then drink some NyQuil to help go to sleep. I spent my entire day at work today; from nine in the morning to nine at night, and since I have to turn around and open tomorrow morning, I can't stay up nearly as late as I would like to tonight, since I have so little free time tonight to begin with. So I figure that if I drink soda and be merry and then down some NyQuil (since I'm ill anyway) to either kill me...or send me to sleep.

Or maybe a combination of both. In a sense, I suppose both options are more similar than most people would like.

In any case, it was one thing after another with the few new games coming in today, plus the candy shipment and the surprise prize shipment that I wasn't expecting until later this week. Needless to say, I'm quite tired. The being sick thing hasn't helped much either, but I got through it...and the rest of the days I work this week are significantly shorter.

In any case, time to write my rant for the webcomic. Feel free to read the Sense of Sanity if you're bored, and feel free to leave comments on my blog, too. Email is fine, so long as you type something about my blog in the title. Otherwise I'll probably end up deleting it with the rest of the junk mail by accident.

~Don

Wasted?

At least, perhaps that's what my day off was to some people. A part of me feels like I could have used it for more as well, but then, the more I was thinking of is along the lines of playing Lufia or some other game, or merely playing some games with my friends.

Instead, I spent it watching fifteen straight episodes of Rurouni Kenshin. I must say that it is turning into one of my favorite series, if not the overall favorite. There's just something undeniably cool about Kenshin that makes me practically shake. Maybe because I'm so addicted to swords, and swordsmanship, and the mentality behind it that I can't help but get excited when I see that kind of ability. I know it's anime, but still. It's good anime. Things are going to go bad, and you know every time that Kenshin's going to show up, but when you hear that little acoustic guitar rift thing and then you either see him, or hear him say something cool ending with -gozaru...well, you want to react with "Yeah, there's Kenshin! Kenshin ROCKS!"

It makes me want to call all my attractive girl/friends "-domo," just so I can emulate him at every turn. Of course, I'll never be able to have Kenshin hair (I'm lucky to have hair at all, at this point.), but I'd like to think maybe someday I could be half as cool as he is.

Tomorrow is another one of those damned open-to-close days, and I'm not looking forward to it for many reasons. Apparently the people are a bit mad at my lack of calling them because some stupid little girl misfired her "SKball" and sent it cascading through Big Choice's glass window. When I call them, they sound annoyed, so I figured hey...they're coming in sometime this week anyway, I'll just cover the broken glass up and leave them be. They can't order the glass anyway without coming in and measuring it.

And I was wrong. Not that I really care all that much; the job means next to nothing to me, but I don't feel like hearing about it tomorrow. I doubt I'll hear anything though.

Anyway, I'm not thrilled about having to stand there all day long, but...I'll deal. One thing I've learned about them is that if you go into it thinking it's going to be bad, it will be. So I try to look at it this way: It's the longest day this week, so if I get through it, the rest of the days should be relatively easy. We'll see, though.

~Don

My Brain Hurts

And that's because I slept entirely too much today. Actually, I didn't think I did until I noticed I was walking around the house like a zombie all day long. That was a clue that maybe I had gotten too much sleep.

Way I see it though, I deserve a bit of a break. The whole apartment thing has been really stressful, particularly yesterday, where the staunch supporter known as my father suddenly declared that he thought me getting my own place was a bad idea. This is the same guy that a few days ago believed it was a spectacular idea. Now he says the place I was going to get is both a dump and a complete waste of money.

But I guess he's right about the money thing. It would siphon just about all I make right now. So I'm falling back on the roommate search for a bit just so that I don't have to choose between my mother's house, or my father's new house, because I don't feel particularly welcome at either of them. Dad's girlfriend is quite...evil, I guess, in the sense that she expects everything to go her way, including my life/career/etc. They don't seem to get that I don't really want to go to college, and furthermore, they don't really care.

Mom's boyfriend doesn't seem thrilled at the prospect of another one of the kids moving into his house. He doesn't talk to me; hell, he doesn't even look at me when I go up there. It's almost as if he goes out of his way to avoid me. But he's talking about charging me for various living expenses, which I don't mind completely...but that's what initially made me want to move into my own place.

If I'm going to pay, I may as well pay for my own stuff, you know? And live in my own place, or whatnot.

I don't know. Right now, I don't like either parent option. Dad ensures me that they'll pretty much leave me be in the new house, but I know otherwise. I can barely be left alone here sometimes without some ludicrous excuse for him to barge into my room for no reason whatsoever. And that woman...I don't care how much college money she offers and how sweet she sugarcoats her 'advice'...I don't buy her act for a second. I've already seen her true colors on several occasions, and I'm not thrilled with the prospect of living with her.

Corinne was pretty much the only one who managed to pry this out of me through her emails. I really appreciate her concern, particularly right now with her off in a foreign country doing some sort of military style stuff. I'm still a bit worried she's going to get dragged into battle, and that's a thought I've been struggling with for some time too. I guess I'm still a bit confused as to how I really feel about her. I am certain, however, that she is a person that I want to be a part of my life for a long time. I don't really know though how she feels about me, besides the fact that we're both close friends, and now really isn't the time for me to be asking.

I'm sure she already knows how I feel anyway.

Today, I finished off Shenmue, and now I really can't wait for the next installment of it. So much so that 'm toying with the idea of getting an X-Box or GameCube just so I can play later installments. I only wish the first Disc hadn't been destroyed by my dog laying on the sofa (the place where my brother saw fit to leave the thing, unprotected...moron.) so that I could replay the game once more from the beginning. I was really astounded by some of the things that game did.

I think I should be in bed, because I have to get up at 6 tomorrow. I'm stressed, and a bit depressed...which means one thing: I'll be buying a bunch of anime or new games soon, I bet. Thinking of visiting Suncoast on Tuesday while people are 'inspecting' the house. Not a good idea financially...but at the moment, it doesn't look like I'll be needing much money to get by.

~Don

In the End, It Doesn't Even Matter

And it doesn't. More later, as I need to go play some form of game right now.

Eye of the Tiger

My job sucks. Not that I didn't already know that, of course, but tonight was proof once again of exactly why it does. I don't really feel like getting into it any deeper than that.

In fact, it's been a horrible night all around, and I just don't feel like writing all that much about it. No need to clarify that it sucked. Tomorrow will probably be no better, but at least I'm off Sunday.

And possible apartment thing tomorrow. Someone else will probably buy it...or it will look like crap, so I don't want to get my hopes up. But having met with no success, I'm giving my father the O.K. to tell the guy we'll take it if he thinks it's good. I've met with no success anywhere else, and I'm running out of time. Hopefully I'll get a chance to look at it myself before signing or paying or something, but at this point...I'll just take Dad's word for it. His car advice was good, so I think he can pick an apartment pretty well too. But again, someone else might take it too, because Dad's not the only one going to look at it.

I'd like to go, but I'm stuck at the craphole again and can't really get out of it. Ah, well.

~Don

I Should Buy Another

So apparently today...in showing Vince the game Shenmue just so he could see it, I nearly finished it. I'm rather disappointed in the fact that the Dreamcast is basically dead. Having had the system in my room for quite some time, it's brought me plenty of enjoyment. Evenmoreso than the Sega Saturn, in fact, though the Dreamcast lacks two things that Saturn had....those being NiGHTS: Into Dreams and the ever incredible and addicting Arcade-style strategy RPG Dragon Force.

In other words, I did darn near nothing. We found out that the house I was thinking about buying has a land rent of over four hundred dollars a month. That's added on to the monthly payments I'd be paying and the utilities and such. To summarize, it means that piece of junk is far too expensive.

There's a two bedroom apartment just down the road from here, and I mean that literally. It's just past the train tracks, not even a full mile away. The rent is about five hundred a month, but if I had a roommate, that knocks it down to about what I was hoping to pay for a small place anyway. Roger said he would be interested in being a roommate if I could find a place in Westminster or Finksburg, and this is definetly in Westminster, so I need to contact him about the matter. Mike would also be interested when he finds himself a better job, which I hope he can do soon. That poor guy's suffered way too long at the Weis Markets. Though honestly, I'd rather be there than be in the freaking arcade with my twelve hour shifts and hardly any money to show for it, alongside the incredibly moronic customers and noisy place.

I swear, if she schedules me for work on Sunday, I'll kill her. I really will.

There's also Jay, but I haven't talked to him about it just yet, and I wonder if it wouldn't be difficult for him to make enough money to pay bills while going to school and such. Roger works, and he's also really social, so I don't even think he'd be home all that much anyway. Plus, he's a good guy. Maybe if I volunteer to stock the fridge with beer...he'll pay a bit extra for rent a month, or clean up more often or something.

Heh. In any case, I need to talk to him. And I need to respond to Corinne's latest email, which I just haven't been in the mood for in the past day or so. Sometimes it's easy to compose an email, and sometimes it isn't. Yesterday, I just wasn't in the mood to do emails. Today, on the other hand, I think I can manage it.

I'd have probably gotten more done today if I had not spent the entire duration playing games with Vince (and Graham, for a little while). A bit too much of Lufia, which I blame Adam for making me 'get.' Vince and I, as usual, got absolutely no comic work done while he was over, but managed to come up with some stuff as soon as I got online. Amazing how that works, nee?

Anyway, twelve hours tomorrow...then eight and a half Saturday. At least I get to work with Kevin on both of those days though, which makes up for...something, I guess.

~Don

Isn't She Gorgeous!

Ah, I love you, Animal Planet. Where else can I tune in every night and watch Steve Irwin? In case you don't already know, Steve Irwin is the man! Tonight, we're dealing with animals on the road, and currently the man is getting bit by some kind of crazy Australian bird.

He's a good guy, that Steve Irwin. A bit fanatical, but what's wrong with being passionate about your work?

In any case, it's been a quiet day. Another surprise real-estate person visit on my day off, which I wasn't expecting anymore since I had been told that someone was purchasing the house. However, I suppose that changes nothing.

I'm thinking I'm going to start looking for a roommate. Most of the apartment's within my current price range are for elderly people...or handicapped people. I'm a caring guy and all, but it's really frustrating when you're twenty-two and looking to make some positive changes in your life and you find out that you either have to have one foot in the grave...or have some kind of disability to be free.

The only other solution is to find a better job. Which isn't easy, but maybe that's what I'll have to do. If I could get a job somewhere that at least pays ten dollars an hour...and I worked 35-40 hours a week (which I do already anyway), I could afford a place where I could still be young and still be in some sort of half-decent health.

Or I find a roommate or something. At least to get out of the parental thing long enough to learn a little about myself and my role in the world. I'm really not liking the idea of moving in with either parent now. I guess that's because I was so excited about the possibility of getting a place. I don't know. Stuff to think about.

In any case, time to start checking newspapers and stuff for either higher paying jobs, or cheaper apartments.

~Don

Tired. Again

Yes. The collection morning again, so I'm running on little sleep and feeling retarded. Fortunately, it looks like my father will be contacting the apartment people for me at some point today, so at least something will get done while I clamor around in a fatigued stupor.

Or maybe I'll get a second wind and I'll take care of it myself. I have a list of other places, but I kind of want to hear about this one first. One at a time, I suppose.

Going to go relax. I have tomorrow off, so I can work on stuff then with a full night's rest under the belt.

~Don

Suck A Fart

What a great line, when said correctly.

Work was relatively easy today, but that was probably because the ever-changing attitude towards work that Crystal has caused her to want me to work on the slightly calmer music side with her and the illustrious Kev-$. I ended up being the only one to actually get any sort of work done, but no one seemed to mind that. It felt good though, for once, to have things to actually accomplish besides simply waiting on morons...er...customers.

And I got a fair amount of it done, too, considering I was the only one working on it. Several cases of drop shipments stickered and salechecked and shucked and ready to rock. It does, however, make me wish I could kick DMX straight in the testicles for releasing so many copies of his CD that I had to do one hundred and eighty of them.

Yeah, I can see Sway on MTV in a few days talking about how many million albums DMX sold in the first week. Most of which will still be sitting behind the counter at our store and various stores around the country, because those figures aren't based so much on the number of units sold at store level...so much as the units sold in general.

"This is Sway...wit da MTV news bwief. DMX be droppin the phat trax on his NEW album, released in sto's just a few days ago. Now I gotz to listen to da vinyl, and it was tight."

And that's like...really how he talks. That's a funny guy, that Sway.

Everyone really wants to talk about "Don's Apartment Search: 2001" (Well, excluding pretty much everyone who talks to me on a regular basis, that is), and I must say that I'm looking forward to speaking/having the parent speak to them tomorrow. If not there, then we move on to the next place, and if I have to...I search for some roommates to rock out with. Honestly, I'd prefer to live by myself, even if the place is smaller than the bathroom on the Bebop, but I'll deal.

Now, to watch some more Adult Swim, when I should be in bed so I can go work with Diana at seven tomorrow morning, where she'll probably complain about how lazy everyone at the store is and about how she always ends up working an extra thirty hours a week. Sometimes I think she just doesn't want to go home.

You Get To Burning,
~Don

Stressful

I can't really change jobs until I get the moving thing straightened out. So obviously, I'm not happy. I really despise working at Record Town. They could ease the torment by not giving me twelve hour shifts or making me cover the entire place by myself on weekends or when kids have off of school.

But they don't. And the pay sucks.

It's not worth it. I despise it, and that comes through pretty clearly in my work attitude now. I just don't care.

Anyway, I suppose that should just be motivation to get the moving thing straightened out faster. Sure. Going to go sit and do nothing for another hour and then go to work in the craphole.

~Don

About Time

It's time to stand on my own two feet.

That's all. I'm going to find an apartment. Probably start looking as early as tomorrow, and I'm investigating roommate options and such. I could easily see myself living in a small, not so impressive studio by myself, or staying with one or two of my good friends.

It's going to be a change, that's for sure, but I feel like it's something I have to do. I don't like either of my parent's houses for different reasons. Both seem to believe that there is no chance in hell that I would be able to live on my own, and I'm damned tired of hearing that. If I can do this, I can do just about anything. I look around, and see friends paying their bills at college and living in dorms, or I see guys like Dave, who have pretty cool places that they live in and are around my age, and I wonder why I'm still living at home.

It's going to suck not having as much money to blow on the things I love, but I think it's something that has to be done. I'm going to have to do so sooner or later anyway. It's not going to be easy, but I'll be much better off if I can get through it. And if not, I can always suck it up and move in with the parents for awhile and try again.

I think having a roommate would make it far easier. So I'm going to start talking to my friends, and if none of them are interested, I'll be putting some kind of advertisement out. I have to move quick though, because I'm running out of time in this house, and I don't really want to move in with one of the parents for like a week and then have to turn around and move again.

It may not be the smartest idea, but it's something that's got to be done. Or at least looked at, before I succumb to my other two choices.

~Don

Baiba!

Nothing like a Meredy exclamation to start off Donblog for the day.
I noticed a full day passed since I made an entry to Donblog, but it could not be helped. Last night, I spent some time at the extreme mall of Arundel Mills, or whatever it's called with Dave, Jay, and Vince. That is quite the incredible mall, at least in comparison to the ever-motarded Town Mall of Westminster, which I think has roughly fifteen stores.

Alright, that's an exaggeration. However, there is a great deal of empty space there; so much so that I dare say it doesn't deserve to be called a mall at all. Perhaps a better term would be 'venue of commerce.' And a rather dull one, at that.

Afterwards, we took in a bit of Lupin - Dead or Alive, a movie of the III variety. I was first introduced to Lupin at Otakon this past summer and I can say with plenty of confidence that it's quite the excellent and entertaining series. It's certainly one that I could spend more time watching, and there's no shortage of Lupin, so I imagine I should have no problem filling some time with it.

Otherwise, it's been work and preparation for the new BWF. Nothing major to report on either front. In the meantime, go over to the lovely links column and give a click to "Kisha's Room." It's chock-full of her nude pictorials and perverted forays. Actually, it's not. What it is: a quality webpage with all sorts of stuff pertaining to her. A lot of effort went into it, and I for one think it turned out very well.

In any case, off to do more of nothing. Perhaps a bit of Moero...Justice Gakuen to soothe the savage beast within. Or at least just to see Tiffany kiss and rub herself into Kyoko or something.

It's neat.

~Don

Eat a Krackel

Actually, I did eat a Krackel bar.
Today, so far, hasn't been that bad. I still despise getting up at six in the morning to go to work, but at least it was over by noon. Another game of NFL Blitz in the arcade before I decided to go home and sit. Having only two hours of sleep to go on, I really don't feel safe doing much else but sitting here.

I did talk to my mother about the moving thing. I don't want to move at all, but I think I'm going to move in with them. Even if the town is dinky and small and has damned near nothing to do, it's still got to be easier than living with whatever-you-want-to-call my father. Mother says I should wait to decide on my own terms, which is true, but how much longer must I continue to suffer here? Maybe I should just pick up and go.

I don't know. I do know that I watched several more episodes of Maze: The Mega Burst Space, and I'm probably going to end up watching a lot of other stuff today as well. Might as well, as I'm too sleepy to do anything else and far too grumpy to do anything else.

~Don

"My name is Hikaru Shidou. What's your name?"

All I can say is that I can't wait until I move out of this house. The person that I live with is quite a fool. Doesn't listen to me at all, and basically blames me for every little thing that makes his life more difficult.

My thing is: If you say that someone will be coming to look at the house between 12 and 1 'o'clock, then you shouldn't show up until after 12 'o'clock. Not 11:40, while the person who lives there is in the shower, making an effort to get out of the way so you can view the house uninterrupted.

Somehow, the fact that I was in the shower while these people showed up early is me...being an asshole to them when they come by and purposely trying to preven tthem from buying the house.

What a crock of...

...yeah.

Anyway, it's been a bad day. Or rather, it wasn't, until I got home from taking Vince back to his house. Now I want to move out and quit my job, and you know what? I see no reason not to do it. I was going to move in with him and the 'ho-beast' at first because my brother already moved in with my mother. Being fair, you know? Then I was going to wait to move in with my mother until he sold the house so he wouldn't have to live here alone.

Now I think I'm going to sneak out, possibly as early as this weekend. Why should I give him the benefit of knowing in advance? I'll move out and never speak to him again, just like I promised so long ago when he was doing basically the same thing for other reasons.

Eh. I need to try and get some sleep. It's not going to happen, but I need to try. Needless to say, I'm calling my mother tomorrow to see about moving out soon. Once I'm gone, he won't have anyone else to blame this crap on, except the girlfriend and the girlfriend's family. Eventually, he'll probably do it to them, too.

Time for me to be happy once in awhile. My friends will be a bit farther away, but I have a car. So no harm there, I guess.

~Don

Sleepy

So I'm going to bed. There's nothing much else to do.

~Don

Body Checks: 152!

Work sucked once again today, but I should expect nothing less. Right now, I'm getting ready for bed, because I have the wonderfully hellish twelve hour shift tomorrow. But I figured I'd get a bit of Donblog going just before, because I'm guessing I'm not going to feel like it tomorrow night.

Pretty fun night. First, big thanks to everyone for buying me dinner at Applebee's, especially Mike and Jen, who I would have thanked personally but they didn't stop by my house. When I left, I had heard Jen say they could stop over for about an hour and then go, so I assumed they were coming. But they didn't...I know Mike reads the Donblog from time to time, so thanks dude! It was great fun.

Some of the guys stopped over for pool and gameplaying, which results in tonight's title. After watching Casey, Roger, and Jeff suck up Tony Hawk's Pro Skater (and conversely...watching Aaron prove he's some sort of Pro Skater Jesus), we broke out the Multitap for some four way NHL 2000. After a few games, it was just total domination. The final game was 9-1...with me scoring five goals, Aaron three, and I think Roger got the last...and we won the body check count over the Leafs 152-6, or something like that. Quite the violent game, but that's what happens when you turn the penalties way down and put the "Big Hit" meter way up.

Because of stupid work though, the fun ended just a few moments ago, and now I need to go to bed. Going to drop a quick hello to Kisha because she's on, and then it's off to sleep before yet another fantastic day of...well, hell.

Screw you, TransWorld.

~Don

Go Ahead. Blog, You Freak.

Everyone's getting those LiveJournals now. But I'm standing firm in my blog, because I can't call a LiveJournal "Donblog," you know? It just doesn't work. Still, one can leave "anonymous" messages for people's LiveJournals, so that's what I've been doing with Vince's.

Speaking of Vince, he's pretty hardcore about reviving the BWF, and I, for one, am glad someone is. I enjoyed most of the BWF experiences we had at the old Magee residences, but always felt that it could have been more...professional. They were hilarious nights, but I always wanted to do a more serious version, where there'd be a definitive 'pecking order' that would establish things and such.

And that's sort of where it's going. A more organized version of the original, and that's mostly because we're hoping to actually establish a public television worthy program and an audience for it. Storyline meetings, winter training...if it actually gets off the ground, I have a feeling it could turn out to be a quality program.

Today was a quiet day. One of those days that makes you wish you had a girlfriend, yes, but at the same time...it was nice to not have a single thing to do. No one came over to look at the house, there were no errands to run, there was nothing major to accomplish. I found myself once again tackling the final boss of Tales of Destiny II, who beat me again with her final attack no matter how many times I mashed the command in for Reid's Aurora-whatever that's supposed to block it.

That's the third time. I really don't like this little thing they use for a last battle, because it's clear that I can beat the boss. The first form has about 180000 HP, and the second has 300000, and I'm having no trouble...up until the point that the bloody "Eternal Finality" or whatever it is takes off, and then I just...die. Or rather, my party does.

After throwing my controller, I took in ten episodes of Magic Knight Rayearth 2 and enjoyed myself. Beyond that, I did nothing. And really, that's just fine by me. I'm probably going to be off Sunday, so it looks like I might be able to play football with Roger and crew, or if I see Bates again...possibly some D+D, which I haven't played in downright forever. Ever, really, as I've mainly only been the DM for games.

Tomorrow, at least at the moment, I'm going to dinner with Mike and Jen and such. Should be fun. If something comes up with that, then I may go with Vince, Dave, and crew on a journey to the Cube...whereupon they sell a great much anime. I don't have much money I feel like sparing right now...but if I go, I'm going to spend.

I don't get to go to the Cube very often, you know? It's almost like Otakon. If you're going to go down there, you might as well blow money.

For now, I return to...nothing. Long day tomorrow, even longer day Saturday. Bloody twelve hour shifts.

~Don

Ayashiku Lady...ah, gimme your love!

A tiring day. As usual, one of those slow days at work that really remind you of why you hate the job in the first place. I actually made my first real customer mistake in about a year today in giving change, and lost about five dollars in the process. At first, I was kind of angry that I had made such a stupid mistake, so I put a five dollar bill in to make up the difference. But Diana had told me before that there was no need for me to do that...and since I really don't make all that much money there, I ended up putting the five back in a pocket a few minutes later.

It's my five.

After work, Jay and 'Silent' Vince journeyed to the house for some gaming, which predominantly consisted of Project Justice, though we did mix in a bit of Rival Schools: United By Fate, too. Good fun, both of those games. I highly recommend both.

I'm still a bit depressed about the whole Corinne situation, but I'm adjusting to it slowly. She'll send me a letter when she gets the chance. I know that she will, inside, and so I'm not as worried about never hearing from her again anymore. Don't get me wrong; the thought of her being hurt or worse in a combat situation is always crossing my mind when I think about it. But such is the nature of war; so too flows time. I can do very little to change that. Though I freely admit that using the phrase "Corinne's Protector" as part of my message board signature on AOL feels very weird, when you consider that I'm not protecting her now, when this may be the time I would be best used for such a thing.

The main thing is, though, that the concern I express here is strictly platonic concern. I would feel this way about her no matter how she feels about me. We're close friends. I can't say I don't want to be more than that, but right now, we're close friends. And though I feel, at least on my side, that there's more to it than that...it takes two people to make that decision, and I'm only one.

It's all sort of confusing. Do I wait to see how she feels about me? That could take awhile, particularly because of this whole 'war on terrorism' thing. Or do I try to date, and risk being involved when she comes back, only to find out that she feels the same way?

Who knows. And you know what? I don't feel like thinking about this anymore tonight.

And yes, I know I don't need to put the little "~Don" at the end, when blogger puts my name and the time at the end of each post...but I like to, for some reason or another.

Hey, crack a window open, will ya? Ha ha!
~Don

Wonderful

I've got the whole 'blank slate' thing going on right now. It's strange, but I just can't think of anything worth typing. Well, perhaps there is one thing, but I'm not entirely sure what that one thing amounts to just yet, so I don't want to spend time writing about it when I have no idea what it is.

I'm sure that made a lot of sense.

Truth is, it involves more thinking and observation, so for now it's only going to make sense to me. Which, I imagine, may or may not be of some disappointment to those who actually spend time reading this. However, I am unsure of exactly how much I wish to say about it at the moment, so for now, I think it's probably best to simply say nothing.

This house reeks of cleaning stuff again. Ick. Dad seems to be cleaning the bathroom. Really, someone should offer to give him a hand with that sort of stuff. Not me, though. It was clean enough for me already, and I'm really sleepy and with anime to watch. So....the hell with that. Besides, I cleaned stuff voluntarily today. Here, and at work.

I wish I could remember what had just occured to me a few seconds ago that I was going to write about. I suppose it wasn't that important then. Ah well. I'm sleepy.

~Don

Don't Touch, Junk Boy

I suppose normal people wake up on their birthdays with some sort of feeling of excitement or wonder. But then, I'm hardly normal, which probably explains why everytime I wake up on my birthday, I have this incessant need for it to pass by as quickly and quietly as possible. I do my best to keep my birthday a secret for that exact reason, (unless the people already know when it is, of course) and inevitably, people go to almost extreme ends just to discover the date. Sneaking peeks at my driver's license for example. In any case, then they promise that they won't forget it, and swear they're going to do this and that when my birthday comes around.

And then it never happens. Because people pretty much always forget. Which honestly, doesn't bother me all that much, because it's not even that important to me. But for some reason I always end up remembering the various promises people make on my birthday, and I end up being disappointed for whatever reason.

Dad wakes me up this morning to tell me he's going to the hospital, because apparently that's where my grandfather ended up last night. That would be some kind of irony if the grandfather died on my birthday, you know. Just further reason for the rest of them to say 'the elder son is the black sheep/horse/whatever of the family, look! Grandfather died on his birthday!"

Yeah, just bring it. Suffering and I go hand in hand. I practically embrace misery; I really don't know much else. So a bit more won't hurt me. If anything, it's a character builder.

Apparently I hurt someone's feelings last night with something said more in a sarcastic jest then an ill-meaning. Curse, once again, the lack of tone inflection on the Internet. This seems like the proper place to respond to it, since I wasn't really told that I had hurt this person's feelings; rather, I read it second-hand in the weblog.

That was my response. I'm going off to rue the day I was born...for today, at least. And probably watch some Maze, play some Moero...Justice Gakuen! and Tales of Eternia (Destiny II) and maybe go somewhere and spend some money. I'm good at that.

Not as good as Vince, but I'm pretty good at it. asobi janaiyo!

~Don

Losing

It just occured to me that if Corinne is now in the 'battlezone' ... I've already lost her.

What if something happens to her? You know, she could die, and I may never find out. Why would I find out, you know? Who's going to tell me if something happens to her?

What right do I have to expect someone to tell me, you know?

I'm still sorting out how I feel about her. I know that I care about Corinne very much, and that's about it. And this could very well be the end of all of it, whether she survives the actual fighting or not. She may come back and have totally forgotten about me. Or simply not get around to it. Or anything.

That's one of those things, really. That's war. That's how humanity suffers, really. Even if you're not fighting on the lines, you're still losing somehow. Such is the way of the world in it's current state; a sickening, almost despicable place where people everywhere constantly live in fear. Paranoia seems to come out of nowhere, breeding hatred towards others because of their physical appearance or their sexual proclivity, etc.

I don't know. I'm just going to watch Cowboy Bebop. That's all I can really do when I'm tired. And Faye Valentine is really intoxicating.

~Don

Personality Disorder Test - My Results

Bored after returning from Hersheypark ( an excellent time today, I might add ) I found myself perusing various sites and message boards. Eventually, I came to Dave's site and was scrolling through his Webjournal (the link to which can be found on the ever-fantastic DaveCorun.com ( I don't feel like trying to remember how to put links in the blog itself, otherwise I'd do it for you) and found a personality disorder test amongst his somewhat older entries.

The test can be found at : http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv and since you're all interested, I've decided to reveal my personal results. I figure I've suffered a large enough ego-bruise from the test results already, so I see no reason in hiding the results. Of course, webtests are not really...accurate, but can sometimes be a good tool to strike at the beginning of a real problem...which makes me wonder, with these results, you know? Anyway:


Disorder "Rating"
Paranoid High
Schizoid High
Schizotypal Very High
Antisocial Moderate
Borderline Moderate
Histrionic Moderate
Narcissistic Moderate
Avoidant Very High
Dependent High
Obsessive-Compulsive Moderate

In other words, it seems I'm pretty 'effed up.' Scary. Maybe I'll discuss the results a bit tomorrow. Tonight, I'm going to read a bit of the info here before crashing.

~Don

Lieutenant Commander Alban

Work was beyond horrible today. I didn't think it was possible. The only saving grace was me wearing my old Star Trek: The Next Generation communicator pin on my jacket to give me something to joke about after Kevin arrived. The little office in the back is now Don-Luc Picard's "Ready Room."

Tomorrow is Hersheypark. Which should be fun...or at least, better than working on a Saturday. I...really hate working there. That's really an understatement.

And I'm cynical. According to people anyway, who shall remain nameless. But then I'm told that it's just my front to cover the fact that I am nothing but a 'softie.'

As Kevin would say..."Suck a fart."

Should about sum that up.

~Don

"Dude...You're Getting A Dell!"

I don't know why, but that series of commercials for Dell Computers makes me break into practical hysterics every time I see it. It's not even that good, but for some reason, that "Dude, you're getting a Dell" guy...despite the fact that he's quite the loser...somehow strikes me as funny. Of course, I have no intention of buying a Dell simply because there's a guy onscreen telling some dude that he's, in fact, getting a Dell.

I digress.

As per usual, like every other time I need off on a Saturday, I get stuck working 12 hours tomorrow. It's some sort of punishment dropped down from the boss or something, I suppose, but nonetheless it's quite irritating. I'd like to just have five eight hour work days, or something to that effect. And that's why I need a new job horribly. At least lately I've been getting shifts that begin in the morning, so I've been unable to spend too much time sleeping. That's good, because it gives me the opportunity to establish a sort-of "sleep schedule," and not be tired all the time.

It's a mild field trip on Saturday really. Some of us are getting together to go to Hersheypark, which should be pretty fun. We've had a big group for each of the last two years, so I expect this trip will be just as good, even if we are missing a few people that would normally go with us.

Commander Riker is cool. Time to go back to watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and quite possibly...a bit of Project Justice. Tomorrow is the usual 'day of hell;' I can only hope that I will survive yet another one of those ridiculous shifts.

~Don

Moero...Justice Gakuen!

I finished off the entire store's inventory today.

And I'm tired.

And I need to stop watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and go to bed, but there's another one of those breakfast moments between Jean-Luc Picard and Beverly Crusher and those are always fun to watch. It seems I have watched entirely too much TNG in the past few days...but not nearly as much as Vince, who claims to have watched roughly eighteen hours of it. That was yesterday, the second day of the Five Day Mission.

In any case, fatigue lowers it's sword at me once more, and so I must retire for another night. Hersheypark coming up on Saturday...but for now, back to being...'hermit-ey' and worrying about Corinne, and probably calling Ryan about Star Trek again in the next day or so.

~Don

Being fatigued can cause all sorts of problems. Difficulty in driving...or paying attention in general, shortness of temper, mumbling of syllables or slurring of words, even inability to type at the usual speed and accuracy one is accustomed to. Really, it effectively cloud's one judgment...enough that some would even end up volunteering to work on one's day off when they've never done that before.

And it's amplifying an already present...concern...that I mentioned in a previous entry. So I suppose I'm not the easiest person to talk to despite the fact that the day moved with relative ease. Even managed to watch a few episodes of Maze before I retired to watching some Star Trek: The Next Generation and such.

I mentioned earlier today that I wasn't entirely afraid for Corinne, but...I suppose that's at least a partial lie.

Anyway.

I'm looking forward to not only going to bed at a decent hour tonight, but getting up at a decent hour as well. The eight'o'clock thing isn't so bad, and it's actually been pretty good to get up at a normal time every day, instead of sometimes sleeping until almost noon and rising around six on other days.

Uh...well, this has been more than unfocused, so I'm going to pause for now. I leave you with this:

X-Pac really needs to get fired. I don't know what Vince McMahon sees in him, but...he's got....well...nothing.

~Don