It's Gonna Rain

Next Saturday will be the last day that I'll be working at Record Town, and all I can say is...thank Althena. It's about time. It'll be the first time in about four or five years that I'll be without a job, but like I've said before...if there's a reason to not have a job at my age (or at least a decent excuse), it would be moving. New house, new people, new town, and things to take care of...changing account addresses and other stuff.

I'm still not looking forward to living with Dad's girlfriend and her daughter. The girlfriend has been nice to me before, but she's also been very horrible too. More the latter, honestly. And truth be told, the last thing I really want is to live with females that I'm not in a serious relationship with. I'm uncomfortable enough around women as is; now I'll be living with two.

Things are just different now. I'll need to be devious in a lot of things because I won't have as much time to myself anymore. Where I used to have a weeknight or two plus the entire weekend to myself, I'll now be lucky to even get one night, I bet. That's a bit aggravating. But then, moving with the mother would be more or less the same thing with my brother and his girlfriend living there and the mother's boyfriend who doesn't speak...and they live farther from civilization in a much smaller house.

At least in this semi-mansion, there will be places to get away to if I want to be alone. Already I'm eyeing the 'unfinished' basement to put some game systems and perhaps my anime. I figure with the big family room and rooms upstairs that the father and girlfriend will either be in their big bedroom or the family room...and that Lisa will probably be in her room alot. The basement's a good place for me anyway, particularly when I'm being moody. I like my games and music loud, and I like to have my friends over, so maybe that will become the 'Donzone.'

It makes me anxious though. Moving is one thing; other people being in the house is a whole different story. I was happy not having anyone in the house when I got ready for work in the mornings; not having to wait to get into a bathroom or having to talk to people when I'm at my grumpiest. At least right now, when I go to work...I can just go straight to the bathroom without getting dressed because no one will be there in the morning. Starting in about two weeks though, I'll have to waste time putting on clothes that I'm just going to take off to get in the shower.

Hopefully they won't fuss about my cursing. The person I feel most sorry for though, besides myself, is Lisa. Her room will be close to mine, and her and her semi-goth friends will have to put up with a guy who sits in his room and sings in japanese. Or a guy who likes to repeat attack names when he plays RPGs. Or basically one who just acts like a moron.

I get the feeling...and I think I've mentioned it before, that I'll be blogging more ferociously once I get there. I'm sure I'll have a lot more to talk about. Main thing will be not letting the family see it. Heh.

Christ. I'm happy for the change, but leery of everything else. At least once I get there, some of the 'anticipation-stress' will go away. And I'll be free of that crappy job, too.

~Don

Ever Play The Whipcrack In High School Band?

Today was a rather quick day. The sort of quick day, in fact, that makes me regret ever passing up the opportunity of becoming a manager in the music store side of our store. I arrived to work on time, and the hours literally flew by. Everything pretty much went according to plan (save a few register crashes and occasional trips to work in the arcade early in the day), and we got basically everything done with ease.

If I weren't so good at the arcade things, I imagine it would have been a smart move. But who would run the arcade if I were not there to do so? We haven't hired anyone capable of learning it to the extent that I have without some form of training...so who would train them if I were over in the music side? It's the sort of work paradox that seems to occur in every retail job. There simply isn't the manpower or budget to do such things.

I slept far too long again today. When I woke up, it was in the middle of a very nice dream and I was still pretty darned tired, so I went back to it. Several times, in fact. I basically smacked the 'Snooze' button every time the thing went off. I somehow managed to become a real-life Kenshin Himura (with the hair and everything, which was how I knew it was just a dream) and there was all sorts of battles and tender moments of peace and conversation with Kaoru. I seem to be growing quite fond of Kaoru with each episode that I've seen her in...but then, I like almost all the female characters in that series, particularly Shuura, who appears for all of three or four episodes. Misao's cool too.

In other news, it turns out that my mother knows I'm not moving in with her even though I didn't have the chance to tell her that to her face. I guess on some level I knew my brother would say something to her, and maybe that's why I felt so compelled to tell him when he asked about it. I still want to tell her face-to-face though.

I found out this when I received a visit at work tonight from my grandmother on my mother's side (my mother's mother, not the man my mother's father married later, if that makes sense.) I've not seen her in quite a few years; she's always been somewhat reclusive and busy, and as I found out, sick. Apparently she was recently diagnosed with leukemia and isn't expected to live very long. I don't recall my mother telling me this, though I suppose it's possible that it would have slipped my mind. It's a felling I'm not terribly fond of even though I haven't seen the woman for many years. That, and feelings of almost disgust for looking upon her almost in disdain growing up.

She was never rich like my father's parents. The woman lived in a house that was completely disgusting; extremely dirty...but the reason for that is that she's always adored animals, and owned several of them in her lifetime. I can remember her having something like twenty pets at one time...several dogs and cats and other stuff. I never hated her, but I never felt inclined to visit her either as a child. It's almost as if then, I was embarrassed to be around her.

But then, certain years of one's life tend to make you do things that, in retrospect, are completely foolish, and as an adult now, I am still somewhat disgusted at the vision of her house. However, I am far more disgusted at myself for looking at my grandmother with such jaded eyes. Seeing her again and hearing that she was going to die soon...it made me feel like I was a failure. A real failure, in every sense of the word.

Yet, me suddenly feeling compassion towards someone I made no effort to see made me a bit concerned too. I almost feel like now...if I were to suddenly pay her special attention that it would almost be patronizing, and I wouldn't want to do that just to quell what could be described as my own selfish attempt at alleviating guilt. I suppose, however, that now the situation has changed; now I seem to be looking at myself and my actions through jaded eyes.

And if that weren't disconcerting enough...she told me that if my father had called her, she would have taken Max...and Dad wouldn't have had to put him to sleep. That hurt; it still hurts just to think about it. In the end though, perhaps it was my own weakness that brought my beloved dog's end to him. I didn't do everything I could have done, obviously, and in the end, that shut the book on Max's life.

My, how the hero is a failure.

I don't know. I seem to be going to bed tonight with far more to think about then Kenshin tonight.

~Don

Ame ga furu

It wasn't long, but in the midst of the day I took a short pause to perform the sort of act you might see in an anime series or an RPG. It had been raining all day, so I turned off the TV and such and leaned on the windowsill with my arms folded, and took some time to reflect. I've always been fond of the rain; always been fond of the water. It's very easy to become almost enthralled with it if I have nothing to do but watch. That was essentially what happened. The feel of the wind, the smell of rain, the calm rhythm of droplets lightly plunking into the front sidewalk...it was a bit relaxing.

Unlike last night, which was pretty damned fun. Admittedly, the night began slowly Roger came by with Bill (who I've not seen for practically ages) and someone who's name I don't recall that was quite evidently Bill's girlfriend. Travis and Mike came by, followed by Sven and Durand...and later Aaron. Point being, with nothing to do, it was began with "Let's watch Don and Roger play NHL 2001," and later, "Let's watch Don show Mike Metal Gear Solid 2." I think it was one of those things where a group of friends that usually have no problems having a good time had problems meshing because of new 'cogs in the wheel,' so to speak. Eventually Bill and the girl left, and things got better.

Everyone started talking and playing games and stuff. Roger and Travis returned with their 'brewhaha's' and much drinking was had. Well, not much, but there was a bit of drinking going on. Feeling the urge to almost fit in, I even grabbed myself one of these Smirnoff things they're always talking about and drank about half the bottle.

It wasn't nearly as bad as I would have expected, but at the same time, it left me wondering why anyone would drink such a thing for fun in the first place. It wasn't good enough for me to want to drink it again, and really, I didn't feel all that well later that night. I imagine that was because I was drinking soda and said Smirnoff and had very little to eat, though. I seriously doubt it was the drink itself.

In any case, it really did seem like once Bill and the girl left, everything got 'better.' Glad to have Sven drop by too, because we hardly ever seem him these days. Considering all we did was sit around and play games and talk, I'd say everyone had a pretty good time.

Today was back to normal more or less, except that I had to sleep in pretty late to make up for me not going to bed until almost 3 AM. I didn't really do anything but watch TV and play a few hours worth of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Star Ocean 2. In retrospect, I could have probably called someone to hang out with, but I just didn't feel all that sociable. I'll have to get in contact with Aaron though, as I still have his PS2 Memory Card sitting around.

Work tomorrow...but at least it's not in the arcade (though I'm sure I'll be getting caled over there every other fifteen minutes or so.). Hopefully it won't be all that busy with a lot of parents going back to work and such, but then...how often am I that lucky? Oh well. Won't be much longer now. I should probably start searching for a new job.

~Don

Form Blazing Sword!

Massive apologies for rantage over the past few days. I worry that I may end up doing it again tonight, but like I've said before...it's my Donblog, and I can write as much as I want. It's up to the rest of you whether or not you want to read it.

Another lame day, really, though I've decided that I'm going to try to use some computer time to finish up Seiken Densetsu 3. Honestly though, I've not really devoted much effort to it...mostly because I went to work around three today, and just got home a little while ago. Not really ideal conditions for playing an RPG, at least...not for me. I like to have a free block of time just in case some story things take place and I really get into it.

The work day wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated, though it certainly started off on a poor note. As usual, I walked straight into a warzone where all hell had basically broken loose. We were running out of quarters, the place was a mess, half the games were out of order because Kev-$ didn't have time to fix them. I suppose I should have anticipated that though, seeing as apparently Kev-$ had worked the entire day by himself, and got smashed by Black Friday customers.

Not a lot of sense in the scheduling. Very little at all, sometimes. Makes me wonder why three people apparently work in the arcade tomorrow morning...but only one worked the morning of the 'busiest shopping day of the year.' In any case, it was no busier than any other Saturday though, and eventually I ended up leaving early. No reason to stand there for the last half an hour or so when nothing was really going on, and I was in a rush to come home and do nothing.

Now, I'm just sitting here listening to Disc Three of the Final Fantasy VIII Original Soundtrack and waiting until I feel tired enough to get some sleep. It's work in the morning tomorrow until five, and there may be some sort of hanging out after that, depending on how tired I feel. I hate that with me...some days, I come home from work and simply do not want to go out. I'll be so grumpy that I won't risk being around friends and such. Hopefully tomorrow won't be one of those days, and we can get together and do something fun...or at least productive, like Christmas shopping.

But I don't actually know what's going on, so I guess I'll just play it by ear. If I feel up to doing stuff, then I will. If not, then I won't. Easy as that, eh? Sure.

~Don

A...Alundra!

No, I didn't go anywhere for Thanksgiving. No, I didn't have any turkey. No, I didn't get stuffed. No, I didn't see my family. I swear, the only human contact I've had all day long besides the brief conversations with my father were on the internet, and besides Travis, every single one of them has opened up with some Thanksgiving related question/statement.

I don't care. I'm kind of angry now, looking at my schedule...that right off the bat, I'm working until the mall closes with the extended mall hours and then opening the next morning. I really really hate that. Basically, I'll get up and loaf around the house tomorrow until three when I go in...and then when I get off, I'll have to practically go straight to bed to get enough sleep to get through Saturday, which may end up being busier than Black Friday.

I should just quit now. It won't be much longer until we move, and I can use moving as an excuse to be jobless. I should just get out of that place since I hate it so fucking much, and start looking for a job in Frederick or something. Then maybe I'll go back to being at least somewhat happy again.

I think the first thing I should do though is buy an ink cartridge for my printer so that I can make up a resume and try to get a real job. Record Town is anything but. How I could have ever believed that I could take that place seriously when I applied is beyond me. It's an arcade, for god's sake. If anything, it was a step backward from working at Weis; a step away from a professional job where I might actually be of some use and learn some real skills.

But then, I was tired of lifting stuff at Weis and really needed to quit. So I took the first thing that really suited my needs, I guess. That's the lesson here, I suppose. Don't be in such a hurry that you pick something you'll regret. In retrospect, it's sort of funny.

Or rather it would be, if I didn't have to work there still. What I need is a date for us leaving this house so I can set a date to quit...a day that will probably be a few days before we actually move, just so that I can take a mini-vacation...and have time to pack and energy to move and such.

In other news, I did nothing today. But I did manage to knock one of my unbeaten Playstation RPGs off the unbeaten list by sitting down and plugging through the last section of Final Fantasy VIII. It's a bit of a relief really to have gotten one finished. The next one I'm close to finishing is Tales of Destiny II, which I have saved right before the last boss (you might remember me ranting about losing to her final attack because I can't seem to get my 'special' countermove to work. I'm literally that close.) The others have more work to them; I think I'll probably go in order of distance to the end. That means I'll be revisiting Wild Arms after ToDII, I imagine...yet another I have saved in the final dungeon.

But that's work for another time. Since it seems like I'm doing nothing else right now besides hanging around with friends (lord knows I haven't heard Vince even mention doing the comic in about a week or so...to me, at least, so I guess I don't need to do anything with that.), I'm sure I'll have time to finish some more games.

I really really really need a few days break before I move. I thought I was going to have a heartattack from anger and stress at work yesterday. Cleaning up after everyone else's mistakes...having to do basically every shred of actual work there myself...it's tiring after awhile, particularly when you hate the job.

Tomorrow will be too busy to think about it...but the busy days tend to move a bit faster. At least I'll be working with people tomorrow, instead of standing there by myself the entire day.

~Don

Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu...

The days of Christmas shopping are upon us, and true to my usual holiday form, I seem to be regressing away from the things that are supposed to make the holidays special. For example, it looks as if I will be spending Thanksgiving home alone, and that suits me just fine. I'm more than certain I'll be receiving a call by someone in the family almost begging me to come, but I just don't feel like it right now. I'm tired. Maybe more tired than usual, and I just don't feel like spending my day off driving to my grandparent's house to eat. I feel like catching up on all the little things I haven't been doing, like practicing my Hiragana, or hitting that pile of anime/RPGs that are sitting here begging for my time.

Holiday shopping has come just as it always does...I went out and spent a bunch of money today...but just like any other year, I spent it on myself. I have this nasty habit of spending money when I'm tired or depressed or some combination. The holidays always make me feel guilty about things for some reason, and so I spend money on me. This, in turn, makes me feel guilty about both not saving money and not spending shopping time on other people, and that makes me spend more money and more time alone. It's a double-edged sword with me all the time, and I often wonder why people bother sticking around.

I gave some things a lot of thought today. I really am quite avoidant, so much so that I avidly desire the perfect woman for me, but wonder what I would actually do in that relationship. Josanne, whom I work with, points out often that I'm basically the only male she knows who doesn't really show her any sort of physical affection...sometimes the point where I hide my hands in my pockets when she gives me a hug or something. I suppose I've just not physically touched enough women.

And so obviously, the thought of any more than like...a hug, makes me paranoid, I guess. There are so many women around me, for example, who have sex simply to have sex, and for some reason I can't seem to understand that. For me, sex has always been a very important thing that you should have reason to be involved with. Good reason. And women to me were always what I perceived to be the highest holder of that ideal; and so finding out the opposite has basically been a shock to my system, I guess? I'm not entirely sure.

I'm easily confused, and I think equally confusing to people. I imagine I have more sides than one of those complex math shapes, and I seem to show off whichever one I feel the people around me will react most strongly to. I've always known consciously that I do that, but never known how to stop myself...or even if I should.

Through the games, and through the anime...maybe the fantasies really have clouded my mind to such a point that I truly have no identity. I've written about that before; about how I feel my existence is defined by other people no matter how much I try to convince myself of otherwise. Ultimately, such a way is self-defeating.

I cannot exist for everyone in the world. Yet, I cannot exist solely for myself either, and maybe this is why I spend so much time watching anime and playing RPGs and such. So deeply waded into a state of self confusion and conflict that I can do nothing but sit and stare at the same screens, day in and day out.

And I think I now see why the women that I fall in love with never seem to feel the same towards me. How could they, when no real me exists? How could anyone love someone who is so many different people at once, and yet...is no one at all? I have no confidence in myself, and that's not because I'm weak...it's because I have no sense of 'self' to be confident in.

And maybe that's why my ultimate wish always seems to be the same. I'd like to believe that it's being a good father, or being famous or something. But deep down, I wonder if that one fantasy is the one that I truly want?

The one where I die...and it means something.

And maybe deep down, that's why I'm always tired...or always sore...or always in pain. Because maybe somewhere deep down...I'm looking to die. Maybe, for whatever reason, I feel I'll only truly exist in death. And maybe that's why the hero thing is such a big deal to me. Death's always one step behind them.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed. There's a difference between depressed whining and self-reflection. I suppose I should take some solace in the fact that I can even participate in self-reflection with so many juxtaposed personalities inside of me? Perhaps that means there's some hope after all.

Anyway, I bought five anime DVDs today, and watched three...plus Gekigangar 3 and the first episode of the Gatchaman collection OVA thing. And that was basically all I did, besides sit here. Tomorrow...more work. But it will be the first day in a few that I'll be working without Vanessa to train.

Not that I don't like her. I do. But I worked with her for four really difficult long days in a row, and I kind of feel the need to come to work and have her not be there.

That...and I'm intimidated by her.

~Don

...hai...

I'm tired.

More later. I'm sure you're all getting angry at my lack of blogging...but that's too bad, eh?

Because it's my weblog.

Anyway, I'm going to...go watch TV or something.

~Don

Day Off? Where?

Nothing has ever made a day off pass by nearly as fast as Metal Gear Solid 2. Nothing. I started playing around 3'o'clock or so today (after my six hours of it yesterday, mind you) and continued playing until sometime after 11. Normally, spending my entire day sitting around the house would make me feel as if I wasted the day, but MGS2 didn't.

I have no regrets. I wasn't going to do anything else with my day anyway, you know?

In any case, I really can't talk about much, but let's just say that it's just as much an emotional rollercoaster as it's predecessor, if not more (didn't I say something like this yesterday?). I could feel my heart pound when I snuck by an enemy soldier, unsure if he'd notice me as I passed...or when I crawled, pulled, or whatever through a tight space (like say...a busted-up passageway where you have no choice but to 'shimmy' across a narrow section to get by, and the camera pans upward to show you just how high the character really is.) Scary stuff.

Nothing could have prepared me for the shock of one event that took place. Again, something I don't want to say too much about, as the game is still relatively new, but it was an almost too familiar scene that you see in all sorts of games, anime, and movies..but somehow, the MGS2 version of this type of scene stabbed right at my heart. I guess it goes to show how much the MGS games can pull you in to what you're doing. Forcing my eyes shut didn't stop the tears from coming, and these weren't like...one or two tears that just kind of roll down your cheek, this was more like the sort of cry where I was choking on my breath some, despite all efforts to stop it.

And then finally taking care of the final sections of the game, I felt all sorts of things. Pride, perhaps. A real sense of accomplishment and wonder. And just like the first MGS, the ending leaves us with yet another 'phone call'; a few last words to leave you wondering just what you're going to be up against next time around, if there is a next time (and why wouldn't there be?).

My only possible complaint about MGSII? I feel like I spent far too much of the game in a cinema. There's A LOT of cinema breaks for storytelling; almost to the point where I would say it was too much. I'm sure I spent roughly twenty minutes, maybe more, wading through one or two sections of cinema just to get to a boss fight near the end. Still, the overall excellence of the story and voice acting and gameplay makes all the cinemas far from painful. I didn't really even think about it until I was done.

I know, I'm supposed to write about my life or something here. But for the past two and half days or so, this HAS been my life.

And it's a life I'm definetly going to return to again. There's some stuff I still don't quite understand, and I'm sure I can do better this time around, too.

Go get Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty...if you've played the first MGS. Otherwise, go find MGS and finish that first. It'll make the second go that much better.

~Don

A Hideo Kojima Game

Yes, it has been some time since I posted an entry. I have good reason. It's called Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, and I imagine I'm one of probably a million people who have spent the past day and a half allowing it to suck up my free time.

It's everything I expected and more, basically. The game continues from the original using a style almost exactly like it's predecessor, making it familiar territory with a few new 'moves' and weapons thrown in. I don't want to say much about the plot here just yet, as I'm sure there are people who may glance at this that haven't gotten far in it yet. It is nice to see that all the returning characters have the same voice actors doing their voices. The PS2 graphics...well, let's just say this game looks pretty damned realistic for what it is.

That's about all that's happened lately. I should go to bed...apparently someone's coming over to do something in the house early tomorrow morning (7AM). I'm not fond of that at all; I thought the strangers parading through the house thing was finally over. Oh well, it won't be long now until I move, and I would anticipate that my stress level will go down then. It'll be an adjustment moving in with some new people, but it's still going to be one weight off my back.

And this weight...I've been carrying this one for a long time. A long time. A few years, I'd say, this talk of moving has been taking place. It'll be nice to have it end.

~Don

"I Have Work To Do."

That's fresh from Star Trek: The Next Generation, because that was what I had on my TV when I started typing. Between that and the Monday Night Football game, and earlier watching some WWF and several hours of Megaman 2 and the first two episodes of Tenkuu no Escaflowne, it's been a pretty busy night.

The Ravens game is frustrating me, as usual, because it seems like any time I watch them play...they screw up. Yet I also want to watch it...so it's difficult to discern between what seems to be 'luck' and my selfish need to actually watch the game. I'm actually watching right now just to prove to my Dad that whenever I watch the game, the opposing team scores. It's been that way for the past few years; beginning probably when the Ravens moved to Baltimore.

In other news, the Sense of Sanity was updated. Vince finally got through Recca (though he decided to watch it through again...a decision he made after he brought the discs over and downloaded the program so I could watch them on my computer, damn him!) and is now starting to feel creative. Good for him. See, anime's good for stuff.

I still feel a bit 'blah' lately, but that's nothing unusual. I really need to tell my mother that I'm probably not moving into her house...but I haven't seen her, and I was hoping to discuss this with her face to face. She doesn't answer the phone when I call from here anyway, and if I leave a message she won't call back. Frustrating.

Kisha's up on my buddy list but not responding (big surprise there; seems to be every time she's on lately), and all the others aren't IMing me. No big deal, because I'm going to bed pretty soon anyway. More work tomorrow and Wednesday...but I get Metal Gear Solid 2 in the next two days to play. Glory to the republic of PS2, then.

~Don

Eat Me

Thanks to Dave's LiveJournal I took a Colorgenics test online. It's some sort of personality...thing...you get by selecting colors in a certain order. Surprisingly, mine turned out somewhat accurate. At least, I thought so. You can rock out to the Colorgenics thing by clicking the word right there. Meanwhile, here's what my test results were. Enjoy.

"You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that "True love is just around the corner"...and maybe... if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.

You are a dreamer .. and you seek perfection in any relationship that you may establish. Some of your ideas and standards are over the top... so it may be a good idea to review your perception of life and accept people for what they are - not for what you would like them to be.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion ... In fact you just don't want to be involved in any arguments of any shape or form ... All you want is for "them" to get on with it - and to leave you alone..."

I especially felt 'attuned' to the second-to-last paragraph.

~Don

Go Broncos

I guess I don't have to say that I hate my job.

But I hate my job.

So be it. In any case, I've been feeling kind of lonely as of late. Not lonely as in "I don't have any friends," because I have plenty of friends...I'd say it's more along the lines of "I don't have enough female friends" off of the computer, and I feel like I'm missing something vital there. It's not that I don't know any women off this thing so much as I don't have any that I really spend any sort of quality time with (besides Josanne, but I only see her at work, so I don't necessarily call that 'quality time.') and it's aggravating, to an extent.

On the plus side...Metal Gear Solid 2 is coming out this week. Games are always good. I'd buy Golden Sun if my stupid brother would get around to bringing my Game Boy Advance back.

That moron.

Anyway, another boring night ahead of me, and I'd better get to it. And this thing better post today.

~Don

I sent a blog. It's not fucking there.

Goddammit. I'm not doing that again, that thing was huge.

Depression

That should about sum it up. I had a horrible day. I don't feel like talking about it.
Bloody blog screen's been open for like...forty-five minutes, and this is all I could muster.
At least my hockey team is doing well. For now. About damned time.

~Don

Lack of Donblog

So I've definetly been tired today. Sunday was a pretty decent day. Time Crisis II for the Playstation 2 is quite the fantastic game...so much so, that my fahter came home and played for about an hour and a half and often used phrases like this to describe it: "Holy shit, this is awesome."

Yeah. Vince and I, when we find ourselves one of those link cables...are going to hook up his PS2 and my PS2...and put two TVs next to each other for some REAL arcade TCII action. The game's got enough to keep you occupied with it for awhile with various minigames and such, much more than I had originally anticipated.

Otherwise, things have been rather slow. I'm still not entirely sure where I'm moving, though I think I'm going to try the more 'difficult' route. If that is the decision I make, that's a good thing. I can finally start looking for other jobs. I really really need to do so as soon as possible, as I am quite tired of my current employment.

I have no idea what's going on with the comic. Keenspace wasn't working at first...but I haven't heard anything else about it since then. I hope it's going to work soon; as I'm quite disappointed in our inability to provide a comic at this point.

Ah well. Work for three more days. Irritating.

~Don

Kind of Pissed

My Essential Billy Joel album seems to have a faulty first disc. It doesn't play in my CD Player, and it doesn't play in my computer. Problem is, the case to it is already cracked, and the receipt got thrown away with last week's trash. So I'm going to try to clean it at some point and see if that helps. If not, there's no way in hell I'd be able to return it. (Technically, that's not entirely true. I could always replace the CD case and then simply...take it to work and do a return on it, but...that would be illegal, and even though I could get away with it if certain management happened to be on the clock, I'd feel really guilty about doing so.)

If anyone of you five or so people who read this regularly happens to have the first Disc of this album, please burn it for me? Billy Joel is cool. Otherwise, at least I have a working Disc Two, and fortunately, most of my favorite songs of his are on Disc Two (Except "Only the Good Die Young," "It's Still Rock and Roll To Me," and "You May Be Right.")

I guess I should have played it the first day I got it, but I just haven't had a lot of time where I wasn't listening to my MP3s...playing a game that has music that I actually want to hear, etc.

Ah well. Work was dull. John, the other arcade manager, is now quitting. Looks like my life there is only going to get worse. Hopefully, instead of dropping as much as possible on me, she'll make use of a bunch of those semi-useless part-timers who don't do all that much anyway to stand there on weekday nights. Problem with that is that most of them are so unreliable that you never know if they're actually going to show up or not.

Needless to say, I need another job. I'm going to have to pick a parent to live with so I can start searching, and that's not a decision that I'm looking forward to. As mentioned in Donblog before, I greatly dislike both of my choices, and I'm running out of roommate candidates. Roger is willing to after he pays off his truck, Mike is willing to if he gets a better job...Roger mentioned Casey wanting to move out on his own, so Casey will probably be the person I ask next. At this point, I almost don't care who it is, just as long as it's someone.

It's a mistake, I know, because almost every cent I make will go to bills...but it still seems like the more sane of my two options, at this point. Honestly, if I got a small place with a roommate...I'd probably only be spending about half of what I earn as of now on bills. That's good. Beyond that, with the management experience and a place of residence, I'll be able to look for another job, and that job might be one that pays a great deal better than my current one. Most management positions make far more than I do, even in retail.

It's crap. I'll take retail if that's what I have to take, but it would be a lot easier to be nice to people if I were making some more money. Throw some more cash my way and I'll smile all you want. No one says it has to be sincere.

~Don

Where The Comic At?

The Sense of Sanity didn't update today, and that wasn't because Vince didn't finish the comic. We're not entirely sure what the problem is, but hopefully it will be fixed as soon as possible. Bummer, as I always look forward to seeing the final products on display and I'm sometimes really anal when things aren't showing up when they're supposed to.

I'm apparently much sicker than I thought though. I got a full night of sleep, but could not stay awake at work on my three hour shift. My eyes were heavy, and I felt dizzy when I walked, and all sorts of other stuff. This lead to me, having almost a full day to relax and do stuff around here being completely wasted because I just didn't feel like going anywhere or doing anything. I ended up falling asleep for awhile in midafternoon, and that didn't help me feel any less tired at all.


It just plain sucks. I could have called Vince and we could have worked on the comic, but instead I just sat here or in bed doing what basically amounts to nothing. I did manage to make some progress in Lufia, but that was about it.

Hopefully tomorrow will be much better. I hope so, because I have to work a normal length day and not just some minor three hour shift.

~Don