Zeno...gais?

Today was a rather dull day. I stayed up entirely too late watching a movie last night and finally went to sleep around 4 AM. Obviously, going to bed so late meant that I slept even later, so I figured the day would blow by.

It hasn't. In fact, today seems to be moving more slowly than most days that I sleep that late. It's only a little after seven now, according to my computer, but I feel like it's making it's way towards midnight.

I guess that's about how unproductive it's been.

I'm going to start making myself spend more time studying my Japanese, particularly while I'm without employment. If I can get into a habit of devoting an hour or so of uninterrupted time to it, I think I'll make more progress than I have been. I wish I had decided to do so earlier in the day now, however, because the various other people that live in this house are going to be home soon with some other asinine DVD that they'll try to blow the new surround sound system thing off the wall with.

Really. I'm bloody tired of hearing that damned Jurassic Park theme. Why did they have to go and make three movies of that again?

And I feel the need to see a doctor about something that a few people know about, but something I don't really feel like writing about here. Unfortunately, no job means no insurance, so I guess that means I have to wait. Hopefully my theory of what I'm going for is wrong. Do me a favor though and don't ask about it unless I already happened to mention it a couple of months ago.

I shouldn't jump to conclusions. I should go spend my Suncoast gift card. That always helps.

I should also go think of something to do. Supposedly tomorrow we're going to a party at Dave's place. Hopefully Vince still feels like going, and hopefully I'll feel like driving down there tomorrow. Honestly though, I'm tired of driving already.

But that's life, right? Right. I'll deal. I always manage to somehow.

~Don

Blog
I don't remember if I posted this or not, and I don't feel like going back and checking. I do believe I already used the title, but this is all still sort of relevant, so I'll put it up. It's a blog I wrote and saved to AOL because I couldn't get Blogger to update one night some time ago. So here it is.

Another Unfamiliar Ceiling

I didn't want to waste my Evangelion reference title on what could turn out to be a relatively short entry, but then again, who the hell cares? It's relevant.

The past week has been somewhat difficult. I really have seen three different ceilings in the morning, and it's still somewhat difficult to shake the feeling that I need to leave this one in a few days. No, this is actually my house, so I'll be staying for a little while this time.

Still, everywhere I look, there's nothing but unfamiliarity. The town is constructed in the most confusing way possible so that when I go into Frederick I have almost no way of finding my way back out. The neighborhood's full of winding streets and dozens of houses full of people I'll probably never meet. I have no choice but to keep staring at it all, because Dad hasn't gotten around to putting blinds up on my windows and won't let me do it myself.

I suppose I expected something to change as soon as my address did. Maybe I need to be more patient. I do know, however, that I'm reverting to older ways again just as I was starting to change them. I was hanging out with friends more than once a week and basically just trying to have a social life again. Now the door is shut and I'm volleying between staring at the window, staring at this screen, or staring at the TV. It's almost as if I don't want to go out there again.

There's two cats. One of them is quiet and gentle but for some reason, I never seem to see it anywhere. The other is mean as hell, particularly to me. That, in and of itself, is strange. I'm very good with animals usually, so to have this one sit outside my room and hiss -- and I mean really hiss at me when I try to come out, or smack the hell out of my feet when I walk by, is irritating.

So much so that I took the tube I packed my posters around the house and started just thrusting it at him sharply when he tried it. When he realized he couldn't hurt the tube, he started running, so I just kept pushing.

Goddammit. I'm going to walk freely in the house whether you like it or not, you little bastard. Fortunately, it's declawed...if it weren't, I'd have actually hit the thing to teach it some respect or something.

The daughter doesn't say much, but I imagine that will change over time.

The girlfriend...well, when I talk to her, I feel like she's not actually listening to me, and that really irritates me.

Dad, as usual, is his overcautious, whipped self. He keeps asking the same old questions about whether or not I like the bigger room (which is smaller than my old one, I don't care what anyone says.) and if the bed he gave me is more comfortable than the one I slept on (you know, the one that has a split frame under the cushion, causing parts of it to sink and pushing springs into your back and such? Yeah, I wonder.)

I want to hang out with some people, but I lost my address book somewhere during the move, so now I'm without a lot of my phone numbers. Even if I call them, there's nothing but packed things to entertain them with, except in my room...and I don't know, I guess I feel like I shouldn't invite people over until things are done.

I'd like to go look for a job, but I can't seem to find my way around Frederick. Plus, every time I go in there, I get stuck in traffic for about an hour because of the road work they're doing.

I miss the old house. It was easier, then.

Another unfamiliar ceiling.

~Don

Going Your Days, Grow Up

Today was relatively simple. My mother and I went shopping and I bought a great many things. That's basically how Mom and I have done the whole Christmas shopping thing over the past few years; both of us agree that going out and buying random things for each other is rather pointless, when we can just go out, spend some quality mother/son time together, and actually buy things the other wants. Unfortunately, she didn't buy nearly as much as I wanted to spend on her, so now I'm left with a bit of extra cash and a pang of guilt. After all, she bought far more for me than I bought for her.

I suppose that just furthers my opinion that Christmas sucks anyway. You always feel guilty about something over the holidays, and it's usually one of two things: gifts, or eating too much. I've never felt guilty of the latter, but I constantly feel guilty over the first somehow.

Christmas was really sort of dull here. Dad's parents and his girlfriend's parents showed up for dinner, which made for relatively dull conversation and an intense need on my end to get all of them out so I could go back upstairs and play PS2. Even further, there was insistance on gathering everyone together in one room to exchange presents, which I haven't done in years. And honestly, doing so? It makes me feel like I'm about eight years old with all those people watching you do it.

I've been spending some time staring at the window, wondering if I made a mistake. I guess living here isn't so bad, but I can't help but wonder if I'd be happier in my mother's house. I keep telling myself that this is only temporary until I find a decent job and/or someone to share a place with, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be here a long time.

I can't shake the feeling that Mara (the girlfriend) and her son and daughter look down on me. I can't help it my family isn't rich, and I couldn't afford to go to a real college, you know? None of them really seem to care, and since they're here, my father pays even less attention to me than before, which isn't entirely a bad thing, but it would be nice to be acknowledged once in a while. And it would be nice to spend time with just him without having the other two around.

I understand what my brother went through a bit better now.

In any case, I still haven't felt the urge to go out and look for a job, but I did dig through the ads in the paper to see if there was anything in there of interest, and I came up empty. Not a big deal. I don't really feel like I'm ready to get back to the working world just yet anyway. I don't know my way around this town at all.

I don't know. I thought moving here was going to take some of the stress of me, but I don't feel that anything has changed. Can't say I'd feel any different living in my mother's house, but nonetheless, it's all a bit depressing. Tomorrow, Roger and a few others are supposed to come up to hang out, which I'm looking forward to, even if I have to drive back to Westminster to show them the way.

I'm tired of that drive already.

I think I'm going to use this sweet Suncoast Gift Certificate tomorrow and buy myself some anime. Hopefully there's at least a new Ceres DVD out; if not, I still have one more FY box set that I need to buy, so maybe I'll bring my checkbook with me and take that one out. It'll be one less set of DVDs to buy, I suppose.

Tech Support.

I feel like I should write a lot, because a lot has been on my mind lately, but I don't think I feel organized enough to do it just yet, so I'm going to pass.

Saw Vanilla Sky with Vince, Charlie, and Rob yesterday. Overall, not a bad movie...even if it seemed like it came straight from anime (at one point, I made a remark to Vince that it reminded me very much of some of The End of Evangelion.) Glad I went though, even if it makes me unsure that this blog, or anything else in life really exists. Wacky.

Well, it's quiet here again, which means more FFX. I'm bailing on the Christmas shopping thing and just giving the family money or personal checks. This, in particular, applies to the stepmother and stepsister, because I have no idea what they like...so they can have a check to buy whatever they want. I hate Christmas, and I hate Christmas shopping. Take my money, give me what you bought me, and let's get back to regularly scheduled programming.

I don't like pretending I care about them. So I won't.

And as an atheist, the meaning of Christmas sort of falls on deaf ears. To me? Just another day off...though I'd say it's an overcommercialized waste of money day off, but still just another day off nonetheless.

~Don

Ya?

Far too much Final Fantasy X.

Short entry tonight. Kind of depressed. Managed to get some work done around the house, but took more time than I intended to, so I gave up the idea of being social and went back to FFX.

Tomorrow though, I might be going out. Hurray.

~Don

My Stomach Hurts

And there you have it.

~Don

Just Two Good Ol' Boys...

Today ended up being not so bad, I suppose. The guy finally showed up late, and I ended up heading straight into Frederick to find a mall so I could buy Final Fantasy X. The mall had a Babbage's that had yet to actually receive their shipment, and they weren't sure if there would be extra copies or not. So I left the mall in a fatigued stupor so that I could get back to the house in time to let movers in and such.

And I sort of got lost. I couldn't recall whether I needed to take I-70 East or I-70 West, so I just picked one. Of course, it was wrong. I did eventually make it back though.

Later, I unpacked some more before calling the Babbage's in Westminster to see if they had any FF's in stock. They were, of course, sold out. Fearing the worst, I called the one I had visited earlier this morning, and they had "a bunch."

I was there in twenty minutes and the bunch had fallen to six copies. Good thing I went. Traffic was horrible getting back though, which makes me not want to go back to Frederick...well, basically ever.

More moving, four hours of FFX, and some chatting. As usual, it looks like I'll be the last to go to bed. Good times.

For anyone curious...The Ska Boss is the name of the song, and it's by the Aquabats. I like it.

And today's entry sucks. I'm tired.

~Don

Update From Hell, Part Two

I don't know if I'm going to be able to get Final Fantasy X today. Supposedly, someone was supposed to be here to fix the closets before Dad and his girlfriend and their mover-type people show up around noon, which meant that I could let the guy in around eight, when he was supposed to be here, and then haul down to a mall somewhere and try to convince someone to sell me a copy (The Babbage's at the Town Mall apparently told Vince that they only got enough copies to cover preorders. Bullshit, probably, but then again, that particular Babbage's has been known to lie to customers on several occasions, which is why I usually only go there if Graham is there.) Problem is, we're closing in on nine'o'clock as I write this, and I need to be back in time to let everyone in the house because I'm the only one with a key right now.

And that's really annoying. I'm thinking of using the phone book I just found on the inside of the garage a few minutes ago and seeing if there's any game stores closer to here than the bloody Town Mall, so I'll have time to at least pick up a copy before they either sell out or the movers show up.

In any case, my room's a bit smaller than I anticipated, but it's nice to be in a room that I'll be sleeping in pretty much everynight from now on. I was getting really sick of the whole road trip thing, honestly. My time at the grandparent's house wasn't bad so much as it was somewhat boring, so I wasn't too unhappy about leaving when I did yesterday.

I stayed up fairly late and hooked up as many things as I could get through, which basically includes the computer, TV, VCR, my stereo, and for now my PS2, which will remain in my room until someone gives me a better idea of what's going to go on out there. We're still open for debate on what other game systems will go up here, though I'm fairly certain one of them will be the Dreamcast, and I'm thinking the other will be the SNES.

Honestly though, maybe I'll just put all of them in the closet somehow so I can switch everything with relative ease. I'm not sure yet, and since I'm not completely done (Heir Dictator father was adamant about me not putting up my wallscrolls and I can't put clothes in the closet until the freaking closet guy gets here and does his damned job), I'm just going to relax this morning so that when the rest of the people get here, I can work really hard to help at least get the stuff off the truck.

Like I didn't do half the work last time.

I'm a little concerned with the way sound carries in here though, but I think when more stuff is in the house, it will absorb it somewhat. For example, in my old room I ran the stereo at a volume level of around 10 and it really didn't disturb anybody. On level 6, I could hear it throughout the entire house.

Ooh. The guy's here. I'll write more later.

~Don

Update From Hell, Part One

It's been all of four days or so, I believe, but I still feel an incessant need to blog today. As a disclaimer before we begin, however: I'm not on my normal keyboard, so I'm not entirely sure how the entry itself will turn out. I'm likely to make a few more errors than usual.

Not that it's a big deal, but just so you know.

I couldn't really sleep at all Wednesday night, but I guess that should have been expected. It was the last night I'd ever sleep in that room, on that bed, in that house ever again. I think I ended up with all of three hours of sleep before I had to get up and basically do as much work as the actual movers did. Dad didn't seem to have a problem with spending more money if the guys wanted to take their time, but I wasn't in the mood to stand around and wait. That's just how I do things; I guess maybe it was pulling trucks at Weis that made me feel the need to do work.

It didn't take nearly as long as I expected it to. The things are still sitting in the garage of the house we're not allowed to live in just yet, so I'm a bit worried about my 'wordly possessions,' particularly my PC. The weather hasn't been up to it's usual December caliber, but it's still cold enough out to make me worry that some damage might come to my hard drive and games and such. I hope not, because I'd hate to have to buy a new computer.

Truthfully though, I wasn't really bothered by the move until we came back from moving stuff to clean up. When I pulled out of our driveway for the last time, the tears hit then. It was short, but it was painful, and I didn't like the feeling one bit. Who would? Right now, there's some other person sitting in the basement where my friends and I have been hanging out for years; putting new furniture in the bedroom that was my safe haven through everything I went through in high school.

The whole thing is very unsettling, but I guess like anything, I'll get over it. It's not as if I have an actual choice in the matter.

Finally, Thursday evening found me sitting in the Days Inn in Westminster. I was tired, but in the need of a little fun, so Durand and Aaron came by and hung out there in the hotel room. Really, I was a bit impressed with my ability to have a good time on that night, all things considered. We played some games and basically did what we would normally do at someone's house. Relaxed.

I was going to work Friday, but that fell through when my brother decided he wanted to hang out on Friday and needed a ride home from work in the middle of the afternoon. So I spent some time with my brother until his friend came by to pick him up, and then received a call from Mike about the concert we were going to check out that evening in Frederick.

A bunch of our friends said they'd be willing to go, but none of them actually showed up. Still, in the long run, this was a good thing because the show ended up being in some sort of bar, and the rest of them wouldn't have been able to get in anyway.

The band was alright. I'm not terribly fond of bar settings, so I suppose I was a bit uncomfortable and still stressed out from the previous days events, but it was still far better than sitting by myself in the hotel room. Good times.

I spent the majority of Saturday in the room. When I woke up, honestly, I felt the need to be alone for awhile. Managed to finish off Chrono Cross while I was at it, though I didn't get the 'good' ending, but now I can start it over and try to catch on to the plot and such before I beat it. Now though, I'm not sure I should bother, with Final Fantasy X supposedly being released on the 19th.

I was a bit worried about Sunday because of all the driving I was doing that day, but I went on an "anime field trip" with Dave, Jenn, Jenn's online fling type person, and Sean. Everything went pretty well; I managed to get to Ellicott City only a few minutes late, which was surprising considering all the things I had to do before I went down. We hit several stores in the Maryland and Virginia area, saw a big duck doing a dance in front of a restaurant, drove on a road called "Backlick" and discovered the glory of the "Ska-boss."

When I got back, I had to leave Dave's and drive to the middle of Pennsylvania to stay where I am now, at the grandparents house, where there is a slow but working computer, so I'm not complaining. Sometime tomorrow, supposedly, I'll be able to move into the house and finally end this week of not having a real place to call home.

I might spend some time with Marin tomorrow. That would be the first time in a few years that we've actually seen each other, so I'm sure it'll be fun.

In any case, I'm anxious to get all of this stuff done. It looks like Dad and the others aren't going to actually move in until Wednesday at some point, so I should get the new house to myself on Tuesday night. That'll be good. I'll be able to work and listen to my stereo.

And I should be back on my computer, where everything is where I remember it being and I have my anime MP3s, favorites list, Roms, and other assorted things. I miss that.

And I miss blogging. And the bloggerchat. And other stuff. But I'll be back to it soon enough, hopefully.

~Don

Lame

This whole situation really bites. What I really want to do is get right into the new house and get started on changing jobs and finding my way around town. No, what I get? Three nights in a hotel, one on the road, and two...possibly more at my grandparent's house in northern Pennsylvania.

There's nothing wrong with my grandparents, I'm actually looking forward to the visit. Ideally though, I'd be moving my stuff into my new room tomorrow and starting to get the feel for everything again. It's just one thing after another prolonging the stress; I'm sure I'll be rolling around restlessly in bed until 4 AM tonight, too.

But I'll deal. I always have, and I always will. Donblog helps me get alot of the words out that I don't say to anyone else, so often it sounds like one huge whinefest after another. Still, I feel better getting whatever's on my mind at any given time out in the open so that I can move on.

Hopefully typing some of this will help me sleep, so that I can move on tomorrow. I'm honestly not so nervous about moving out as I am about the next few days in the hotel and then moving in and such. This has been hanging over my head for more than a year, and I really want to be done with it, so I can move on to complaining about the people I'm living with or something.

Fortunately, the schedule's somewhat packed so that the stress won't drive me insane. Tomorrow we move stuff into truck and move it to new house (where we can put things in the garage but apparently not the house. Ridiculous) and then I check into a hotel and relax for the afternoon. In all likelihood, I'll be hanging with at least Aaron and Durand tomorrow, if not Mike...problem is, Mike's house is without a doubt a long distance call from Westminster; and I don't know that I can afford to make several bazillion phone calls to his house.

Still, I can get in touch with Aaron...and Aaron can get in touch with others in turn. If not, well, we got this hotel room to relax and play games in, so I'll probably just invite them over there.

Originally I was going to spend Friday and Saturday at Dave's for Nadesicon, but as usual, no one's really heard anything from Vince about it, so I'm making alternate plans. Diana says I can work in the good side of the store anytime I want over the next few days, so I think I'm going to take a few short shifts on Friday and on Saturday afternoon. Sunday, I'll be checking out of the hotel early in the morning and driving to Dave's house for the big trip to VA. Good times will be had there, I'm sure, but I can't stay too late, because I'll have to drive from Dave's house to my grandparent's in Pennsylvania.

I'm not going anywhere once I get to PA. Not until it's time to come back to Frederick to move in.

Anyway, stay up for me Donblog, and let the folks know I'm alive. I'm sure I'll update next time I have internet access for more than like...five minutes. Anyone reading this...take care. Talk to you soon, I'm sure.

And props to the kind folks in the Bloggerchat that I can't seem to get into tonight. I'll miss chatting with you guys; it's becoming a regular occurence!

~Don

DAN DAN Something Something...

A quick Donblog before bed, as I have to go to bed early tonight.

I managed to get a bit of the X-Mas style shopping done, at least in the sense that I know where to get a gift certificate for my dad, and I now know what it is he's getting me for the Christmas thing. This makes it easier, in turn, to go shopping with my mother and know what to have her buy me, and also easier for me to buy stuff when we check out the shop in Virginia on Sunday.

I could stay up late and continue the huge amount of work I have as far as packing and preparing for my temporary stay of homelessness this weekend, but I'm going in to work. It's really aggravating to be put in the position I was put in today, but deep down, I don't mind doing the favor. Diana put up with me being late all the time and all sorts of other things when she gave me a job there, and she's in a bind with the district manager coming in tomorrow. I can understand that.

What I can't understand is the reason that I have to be there. It's not Vince's fault that I'm going in there. I made that decision. However, it is Vince's fault that he's completely and utterly lazy and immature. It's not as if he doesn't have a ride there and back, because apparently those things were taking care of. No, his reason for not working?

He doesn't feel like getting up that early.

I like hanging out with Vince, but there are times when I'm appalled at the level of his laziness. His idea of taking four months off of work to play video games was ludicrous enough; now he can't come to work because he doesn't feel like getting up that early?

And then he tells that to his boss?

I guess I'm a fool for expecting more out of him. Granted, the place sucks, but it's the holiday season. If there's one time of the year that you should do your best to suck it up, it's right now. It's not like they ask much, just show up.

I'm also a fool for bailing him out and working for his ass with so much work to do, but then, I'm accustomed to picking up the slack for the retarded part timers she has working there. Hell, I'm accustomed to picking up the slack for the semiretarded full timer she hired to fill my position.

The fact of the matter is that I can handle both. I don't want to, because I have a lot to do tomorrow, but I can do it. Diana would do me a favor if I asked her, you know? She'd let me come back to work no questions asked, if I wanted.

Vince, on the other hand...well, I think it's getting to a point where everyone needs to cut his umbilical cord. I'm starting to think that maybe I need to stop hanging out with him in order to get the message across that he needs to make some changes in his life. Like I said, Vince is cool...and I don't want to not hang out with him, but someone's going to have to show him that what he's doing isn't how life works -- and I'm guessing I'll need to start firing the volleys for that war.

I don't want to, but who else will do it?

It's fine to play video games and watch anime and sit around your house if you've worked a long day and you've taken care of the things you need to take care of. Hell, I'm only not working because I really don't like that job much and the move is going to take up time. At least I have a viable excuse for it...but believe me, I'm aching to find a job already. It's only been three days and already I'm sick of having all this free time.

He doesn't get it. He doesn't get that there are people that want to see him do more than he does; more than he's worth. The guy draws well, but doesn't draw. He's imaginative, but does nothing with it. No one's trying to make him miserable, so much as they're trying to show him the right way and help him out as much as possible. His poor parents probably suffer the most, constantly having to drive him to work.

I don't know. You want to grab the guy by his neck and tell him to stop making so many excuses. He doesn't listen to anything or anyone else; it's almost as if he likes making his own life miserable merely to have something to bitch about.

Maybe I should just give up on him. Maybe it's not my job to see that he at least tries to get his license or something. Maybe I shouldn't offer to take him to the DMV anymore.

Maybe I'm just trying to keep him from going down the same path I did.

Maybe it's not my problem.

The hell with it. I'll be the adult again and go to work, finish packing, move the couch, find a place to live, start changing addresses, etc, etc, etc, and he can sit home and play Suikoden II and Tales of Destiny, both of which are mine. There's an idea. I'll drop off his Gatchaman DVD tomorrow and get my games back, maybe.

~Don

Seki!

This Donblog is brought to you by Mimi, who's completely and utterly obsessed with the seiyuu known as Seki Tomokazu. Some of his great roles include Chichiri from Fushigi Yuugi and the male Maze from Maze: Mega Burst Space, among several billion others.

That was completely random.

I couldn't fall asleep until almost four in the morning last night; the stress from yesterday's sudden revelation was pounding through my head so loudly that it took hours to silence it enough for me to catch some form of sleep. It continued into the day, as I couldn't seem to find inspiration to really do anything but watch a few episodes of Ayashi no Ceres. It was one of those things where I had plenty of free time and plenty I could have been doing, but no desire to actually do any of them.

In the end, the afternoon was, for the most part, completely wasted. I did some more chatting in the Blogger chatroom ( a link to which can now be found on the right. Nice folks. ) and I talked to Justine through IMs for awhile before eventually giving up and going to the mall. I needed to give the young Phi Long that Dragonball GT tape I bought for him anyway, so I ended up watching it with him and his sister in the back room of the Nail Studio.

Finally, I ended up back at the computer, where I still had a few new anime series AVI's to check out from the discs I borrowed from Vince. Out of the three first episodes I watched, I'd say I was most interested in continuing Noir and Read or Die. Hellsing was interesting enough, but I'm not very in to the whole vampire thing. I admit though that the first episode was pretty good.

And then, because life moves in a circle, I ended up back in the Blogger chatroom again. Nothing unusual for me. Hopefully I can manage to get to bed a bit earlier tonight, as I have a lot of things to do in the next few days.

This really sucks, though. The whole thing.

~Don

Glory!

If you rate days by comparing the quantity of bad things that happen and the quantity of good things that happened, then today was by far a very good day. It began with Dave and Kevin coming by to pick up one of the two couches that my father apparently has no use for, and it soon brought Vince, Dave, and even myself to the ever-incredible Pandora's Cube. The store of anime and anime-related product goodness. It was there that I would purchase a tape of Dragonball GT for little Phi Long (who's parents work in the mall that I worked at just last week, meaning that he's there constantly and could use something to keep him out of trouble...and he adores Dragonball and such), the Final Fantasy IV Celtic Moon soundtrack, and the three CD soundtrack to Chrono Cross. Good music, there.

The man without a job continued his spending ways when we stopped at Suncoast on the way back home, where I bought the latest Ayashi no Ceres DVD and two more DVD's worth of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Dave eventually drops Vince and I off and heads off to hang with other folks, and I come home to a message from Roger wondering if we're doing anything tonight. So the phone tag game begins, and soon my house is populated with Aaron, Durand, Roger, Travis, and Sven. Entertainment for the evening was the WWF pay-per-view, and then Grand Theft Auto 3.

Good times.

The bad news?

Dad says that the house isn't going to be done until Monday of next week, but we're still moving out on Thursday, which leaves me with a span of days where I basically have several places to go, but nowhere I really want to intrude upon. So I'm thinking that what I may do is take some kind of mini-vacation somewhere. The only thing I need to do is find people to go with me.

Another option is my father giving me some cash for a hotel room for just me, which would be pretty cool, with the exception that I would have very little of my stuff to entertain me (no Internet access, and it would probably be a pain to hook up a VCR or a Playstation or some such), and that I'd probably also end up paying for part of the room myself, which would be somewhat expensive. Still, I like the idea of having a place to myself for a few days like that so that I don't have to intrude upon anyone. Dave, for example, said that I could crash at his place, but I feel somewhat weird crashing at anyone's place. I'm a bit of a hermit; I like to be left alone at certain points in the day, and I don't like having to depend on someone else, you know? I don't want to end up eating a bunch of Dave's food, or accidentally breaking something, or taking too long in the bathroom or something like that. So while I'm happy to have the offer, I'm probably going to pass.

Honestly, it's easiest for me to be alone. I'm not easy to live with, and no one knows that as well as I do, I'd say.

But that brings me back to the hotel...so again, I think...if I bother getting a hotel, I should just go somewhere cool and get a hotel there, and that way I'll have something new to do for a few days. I'm really going to need to give it all some thought in the next day or two though.

The sudden news is making me feel a bit ill though, and definetly causing a sudden surge of added stress. I'm not at all happy with it, but what can I do about it? Nothing, I suppose, except deal with it.

That doesn't mean I have to like it, though.

~Don

Fuuko!!!

Today was the last day of work until sometime after I move. I must admit, as happy as I am to not have to deal with nights like this one (it was Saturday, so of course it was a bad night, at least until around 8 ish), I must admit that unemployment is a bit disconcerting. Not knowing when I'll have a job next makes me feel a bit uneasy. Having rid myself of a job I didn't like very much is nice, but I think I'd be happier if I was moving on to something better next week.

But I have moving to take care of this week, so this week works pretty well for my mini-break. It'll be nice, in a sense, to wake up and have absolutely nowhere that I have to be. I can catch up on some of the things that I'd like to have been working on, like the storyline project I've been 'hired' to come up with for my new creative partnership in the online world, the anime, the games, the packing, spending some time with my friends and much more.

Still, I'd feel better having a job. I don't necessarily like to work constantly, but I like to have something to do. It's bad enough to move to a new city with people I'm not entirely fond of, but I'll be going there with just about nothing.

I'll deal with it when I get there, I suppose.

I may add a bit more later. Think I'll do a bit of chatting, and possibly either watch anime or play Golden Sun before bed. I, of course, have nothing else to do.

~Don

Iron Chef

Today was such a horrible day at work. I had almost no sleep because I got in late, and then was awakened far earlier than I wished by the sound of roof-people on top of my house, which was completely unexpected. Even more expected was coming out to find my car covered by their tarp and my antenna on the ground. which apparently was to help keep their tarp on. Oh well. At least they were considerate enough to cover my car from all the crap they were throwing off of the top of my house.

Furthermore, I was pretty gosh-darned sick. So much so that in the morning I basically had to sit down; my sense of balance seemed to be completely interrupted by it. I carried some DayQuil pills with me to combat it just in case, but I really don't know if the DayQuil would have cured my dizziness. Knowing that place, my increase in misery was probably 'stress-related.'

So my last full day at work was unpleasant. I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything different. In any case, I've pretty much confined myself to quarters in the old home tonight. Lots of Megaman 8, just for fun, because I didn't really feel the urge to get into anything with a heavy plot. Though honestly, my reflexes are suffering as much as balance.

Considering I was somewhat ill last night, I'd say it went pretty well. It started with Roger, Travis, and I heading over to eat at Friendly's because...basically, Westminster has little else to do besides eating. Simple enough. We crashed the Magee residence after Travis left to get some sleep, and shot some pool and such before Aaron and I came back to my house to get one of the fine BWF tapes we made last year. It was a bit of a reunion in that sense; several of the old 'superstars' getting together to watch the product of the performance, just like we used to do after each taping. Those tapes are always funny no matter how many times we watch them, and so much better when you watch them with the people you worked with. Good memories.

It was also good to have a good talk with Aaron and Durand outside about a lot of the stuff that's been going on in the Magee house (for a somewhat better description, I believe Mike's blog has some stuff about it in his archives. Link's on the right, but you'll have to check back to some of the older entries.) The conversation was spawned by the three of us going upstairs to discover to my surprise that Ryan was over. I didn't realize it was him because I didn't travel far into the room, but Mrs. Magee and I were talking for a minute and neither he...nor the person he was lying on the little foldout couch seat thing said hello to me.

Honestly, I don't think they said hello to Aaron and Durand either. That whole situation is really messed up, but I'm a bit glad. I told Aaron and Durand about it, and I'm sure I've told Mike. I never really liked Ryan all that much. He always makes me feel uncomfortable, and I guess that's because you can never really be sure who he is. Sometimes he's your friend, sometimes he's in his own world, sometimes he's giving you dirty looks and basically upshowing everything you say whether he's in the conversation or not. Don't get me wrong; I don't hate him or dislike him, but it makes it easier to have a good time when he's not around. I don't say that about many people really; in fact, off the top of my head, he's probably the only one I can think of besides that Bill guy that came over with Roger that can really take a bunch of friends that usually have a good time and turn them into a silent crowd that doesn't really want to do anything.

In any case, I felt bad for not seeing Aaron, Durand, and Sven much before recently, and it was good to be able to get all that off my chest with them. It's not that I've been sitting at my computer all the time with nothing to do, but I've been out with other friends too, and of course there's the whole Ryan thing. The guy's always down there, even if he doesn't hang out with his 'friends.'

I suppose you could compare that situation to being estranged from your family, perhaps. Actually no, that's a bad example. Point being, I knew we were all still friends, but I suppose I lost touch with them in such a way that I felt uneasy getting in touch with them again. That's my mistake. I had nothing to worry about. I can call those guys to hang out too, and there should be no reason for me to be apprehensive about it.

Even if Durand tried to kill me for not coming down to Sven's in so long. I was scared for my life, frankly. (Not really.)

In any case, I remember wanting to write about this last night when it was all fresh in my mind. Today with the sickness and fatigue, I doubt it came out as I originally intended. But I guess all I really need to say is that it's nice to have good friends. Hopefully we'll be doing something this Sunday and Mike will be able to stop by for a bit. He wasn't feeling well either, and with the drive he has to make to come down, I don't blame him for wanting to rest instead.

Off to watch Iron Chef and probably just sit around and relax. See, I actually managed to work my title in for once!

I must really be sick today.

~Don

ph33r the Boredom

I think yesterday that I told someone about how I had gotten through a pretty rough sword training session without feeling any pain. Obviously I forgot about the tendency to feel pain the next day, as my muscles are quite sore and have been all day. I suppose that's the price I pay for not getting as much practice in as I should. Obviously, it's not something that can be done every other month or so.

As soon as I hurt less, I'll have to make myself go out and do it all again.

Sleep hasn't come as easily as I would like as of late. I guess it has something to do with being stressed out about the moving thing and all. I seem to spend a lot of time staring at the ceiling and thinking about things that I should be doing in the coming days, or things that I should have done a long time ago to make my life in this neighborhood better. It's really quite depressing now to be in this house though, so I'm almost glad to be moving, even if I'm not terribly fond of the company that I'm moving in with. I think it was Kisha who suggested some time ago that it seemed like I really needed a major change in my life.

One can only sit around and watch anime and play video games with his friends so much before needing that change. I know that I've always felt like I've been missing out on life, but slowly I've made the changes as they've come. Sometimes, I'm not entirely sure who the person is that lives inside me, you know? That person that took fear (not ph33r) in his hands and crushed it long enough to go down to meet Corinne, for example.

I'd never have done that before. But I'm really glad I did.

I almost feel like I can do no wrong these days. Things seem to be working out in many aspects. Now, I suppose, there's only one thing left that I really want to try, and that might just be the hardest one of them all.

Dating.

What's left? I got a job, I got a car, I had a bit of alcohol...I came, I blogged, I conquered. Going with the flow, that means that should be the next thing on my list.

An exciting thought. Stressful, but exciting.

And my entries really seem to suck lately. I guess I'm in the proverbial rut.

~Don

Hanabishi Recca-kun!

I'm spending some time in the new Blogger chat thing. The folks are kind there, and currently it's not very crowded, which is nice when chatting with strangers for the first time. I'm also occupying my time with Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Today was spent basically idling around the house like usual. Strangely, my brother was here, but our interaction was limited. It was a bit disappointing, honestly, because I rarely see him. But there really wasn't anything to do besides sit around and play video games, so I guess we made the best of it.

I managed to get a little swordpractice in today, but I used a sword in each hand instead of just one. It was a bit of an adjustment, but overall I'd say it went pretty well. I felt pretty well afterwards too. Managed to get out of the session with only a small welt on my wrist from catching one hilt on it it midswing. Honestly, I sustained more 'damage' trying to put the speaker plug back into my computer and basically thrust my knee straight into the corner of the desk.

That bloody hurt.

Golden Sun is really well done so far. And that's about all I can think of to write tonight. Apologies for the lack of attention lately. I think I wrote it before: I'm sure there will be more once the move is complete.

~Don

De Gozaru

Stupid Vince giving me Flame of Recca.
Alright, that's a joke. I'm really glad to be watching it...though it is difficult. For one, the CDs so far seem to be scratched and aren't exactly playing very well in my PC, and extremely annoying. Two...well, it's hard to do anything else with such a gobsmacking good time to be had with it.

No wonder he stopped doing the comic when he got it.

Vince rocks.

I'm taking a Recca break to play Seiken Densetsu 3 some more. Lord knows, there's nothing on TV that I feel like watching...many channels are still flooded with the usual propaganda. Lately, it's been hard to watch...because I know there are things going on that we're not being told about, and that really bugs me.

~Don